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Updated: May 28, 2025
Coming from a country where, even in the poorest workman's house, the bathroom at all events is always in commission, I was greatly struck by this incident; more especially when, an hour later, I heard the chambermaid cry out over the banisters: 'Mibel! The genelmun as orduder bawth sez 'e'll 'ave a chop wiv 'is tea!
Here I smoked half a pipe, and would have rested, but that I felt too dirty. Presently Boots came in, elderly and sad but furtively bird-like, both in the way he held his head on one side and in the jerky quickness of his movements: 'You the genelmun as orduder bawth? he asked anxiously. I admitted it, and he gave a long sigh of relief. 'Oo! All right, he said, almost gladly.
'The very thing, I said; conversation in such a place, and in such circumstances, proving quite impossible for me. By an odd chance I recalled my first experiences upon arrival at this same mean and dolorous station, more than twenty years previously. 'We will go to the house in which the "genelmun orduder bawth," I said, and led Heron across into the Blue Boar.
Her face lit up with sudden interest as she saw me: 'Oo! she cried with spirit, 'er you the genelmun has orduder bawth? Again I pleaded guilty, and with a broad, reassuring smile, as of one who should say: 'Bless you, we've had visitors just as mad as you before this, and never attempted to lasso or otherwise constrain them.
I cherish the thought that I have become something of a tradition at the Blue Boar, where I have reason to think I am probably remembered to-day by a now aged Boots and others many, many others as 'The genelmun as orduder bawth. On rising after my first insomnious night there, I went prowling all about the house in search of the bathroom.
While I pondered, one hand on the counter, the still smiling barmaid opened conversation brightly: 'Er you the genelmun what's orduder bawth? she asked engagingly. I began to feel that there must be some kind of a special London joke about this formula. Perhaps it is a phrase in the current comic opera, I thought. A pity that ignorance should prevent my capping it!
Someone was playing the piano with one finger, horribly. "You're to give this to Mr. Hahn. He's waiting for it." "Genelmun come in," said the Jap, softly. "No, he don't want to see me. Just give it to him, see?" "Genelmun come in." Evidently orders. "Oh, all right. But I know he doesn't want "
I serpose you ain't seed the genelmun as orduder bawth anywhere abart, 'ave yer? Fearful lest further delay should lead to the bricking up of the bathroom, or to a crier being sent round the town for 'the genelmun, etc., I hastened out almost into the arms of the retainer, and forcibly checked him, as he began on an interrogative note to cheep out: 'You the genelmun as orduder
"I was jes' going downstairs to see if 'e was in the kitching or out at the back," she continued, unheeding the interruption, "when there on the landing I sees a foot asticking out from under the curting. I pulls back the curting and oh, Lor! oh, dear, oh, dear, the pore genelmun, 'im as never did a bad turn to no one!" "Come, come, Mrs. Chugg!" said the detective.
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