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Updated: June 28, 2025
"Now, Abe," he said, "if you was to go into a house what you bought goods off of and seen a garment you just hear is all the rage on Fifth Avenue being tried on by a cow " "A cow!" Abe said. "I want to tell you something, Mr. Garfunkel.
So I expect you this evening." He turned to his partner after the girls had gone. "Mawruss," he said, "put them goods for M. Garfunkel back in stock. I rung up Klinger & Klein and they sold him four thousand. I also rung up the Perfection Cloak and Suit Company also four thousand; Margolius & Fried two thousand; Levy, Martin & Co. three thousand, and so on.
"They was old customers of ours, Leon," he said, "but they done such a cheap class of trade we couldn't cut our line enough to please 'em." "Is that so?" Leon rejoined. "Maybe M. Garfunkel was an old customer of yours, too, Abe." "M. Garfunkel?" Abe cried. "Was M. Garfunkel the other?" "He certainly was," Leon boasted. "We shipped him three thousand dollars. One of our best customers, Abe.
"Don't be in a hurry, Mr. Garfunkel," Morris cried. "You ain't come in the store just to tell me that, have you?" "Yes, I have," said Garfunkel, his eye still glued to Lina's bulging figure. "That's all what I come for. I'll write you this afternoon." He slammed the door behind him and Morris turned to the unbuttoning of the half-smothered Lina.
I bet yer he didn't even unpack the cases before he reshipped. Tell Miss Cohen to come in and bring her book." When Miss Cohen took her seat Abe rose and cleared his throat for an epistle worthy of the occasion. "The Paris. M. Garfunkel, Proprietor," he said. "Gents: Owing to circumstances which has arose No. Wait a bit." He cleared his throat more vigorously. "The Paris.
"I don't know, Mawruss," he said; "some things looks too good to be true, Mawruss, and I guess this is one of them." "Always you must worry, Abe," Morris rejoined. "If Vanderbilt and Astor was partners together in the cloak and suit business, and you sold 'em a couple of hundred dollars' goods, Abe, you'd worry yourself sick till you got a check. I bet yer Garfunkel discounts his bill already."
"Why," he gasped, "that's one of them forty-twenty-two's I ordered yesterday." Anna lifted both her arms the better to display the gown's perfection, and Garfunkel examined it with the eye of an expert. "Let's see the back," he said. "That looks great on you, Anna." He spun her round and round in his anxiety to view the gown from all angles.
M. Garfunkel, Proprietor," he said. "Gents: Owing to the fact that the U-nited States bankruptcy laws don't go nowheres except in the U-nited States, we are obliged to cancel the order what you give us. Thanking you for past favors and hoping to do a strictly-cash business with you in the future, we are truly yours, Potash & Perlmutter." Miss Cohen shut her book and arose.
Always pays to the day." For the remainder of the subway journey Abe was quite unresponsive to Leon's jibes, a condition which Leon attributed to chagrin, and as they parted at Canal Street Leon could not forbear a final gloat. "I suppose, Abe, M. Garfunkel does too cheap a class of trade to suit you, also. Ain't it?" he said.
"Well, Abe," M. Garfunkel cried, "ain't it a fine weather?" "Is it?" Abe replied. "I don't worry about the kind of weather it is when I gets cancelations, Mr. Garfunkel. What for you cancel that order, Mr. Garfunkel?" M. Garfunkel raised a protesting palm.
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