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Updated: May 14, 2025
It is not necessarily because people live upon homemade food that their digestions are impaired, as we so often hear stated nowadays, but because we have taken it for granted that, given a stove, a saucepan, and a spoon, any woman could instinctively combine flour, water, and yeast into food. There is little dependence upon instinct in producing the bread of commerce.
Of the twelve graduates from Cambridge, six treated religion as a cricket match played before the man in the street with God as umpire, six regarded it as a respectable livelihood for young men with normal brains, social connexions, and weak digestions.
I had often said to myself in past years, when I had found myself in the company of young ladies who announced their opinions probably of no deeper origin than the prejudices of their nurses as if these distinguished them from all the world besides; who were profound upon passion and ignorant of grace; who had not a notion whether a dress was beautiful, but only whether it was of the newest cut I had often said to myself: "What shall I do if my daughters come to talk and think like that if thinking it can be called?" but being confident that instruction for which the mind is not prepared only lies in a rotting heap, producing all kinds of mental evils correspondent to the results of successive loads of food which the system cannot assimilate, my hope had been to rouse wise questions in the minds of my children, in place of overwhelming their digestions with what could be of no instruction or edification without the foregoing appetite.
Moreover, while Graham and whole-wheat flours with their larger quantities of mineral salts are a more desirable food for some people than white flour, they are occasionally irritating to people with weak digestions, so that it would be unfortunate to have only these flours on the market.
I should give them as playthings little bits of dry bread or biscuits, like the Piedmont bread, known in the country as "grisses." By dint of softening this bread in the mouth some of it is eventually swallowed the teeth come through of themselves, and the child is weaned almost imperceptibly. Peasants have usually very good digestions, and they are weaned with no more ado.
The men selected were sometimes men whose West-Point career would hardly bear minute investigation, or who had in civil pursuits forgotten all they had learned at the Academy, except self-esteem, or who had been confined to the duties of some special department, as quartermasters or paymasters, and were really fitted for nothing else, or who had served their country by resigning their commissions, if not by holding them, or who had contrived, first or last, to lose hopelessly their tempers or their digestions, or their faith, hope, and charity.
I have just heard some miserable news " "Ach, Gott! don't tell it to me!" the wretch burst out with a look of consternation. "No miserable news, I pray you, after such a dinner as I have eaten. Let me do my digestions! My goot-dear-creature, if you lofe me let me do my digestions!" "Will you excuse me, if I leave you to your digestion, and retire to my own room?"
According to the purpose and argument of that lesson, he oftentimes gave himself to worship, adore, pray, and send up his supplications to that good God, whose Word did show his majesty and marvellous judgment. Then went he unto the secret places to make excretion of his natural digestions. There his master repeated what had been read, expounding unto him the most obscure and difficult points.
Adrian thought that would be a relief to their digestions; and added: "You know, sir, what he says?" Receiving a negative, Adrian delicately explained to him that Benson's excessive ponderosity of demeanour was caused by anxiety for the safety of his master. "You must pardon a faithful fool, sir," he continued, for the baronet became red, and exclaimed: "His stupidity is past belief!
I make friends with lonely derelicts whose digestions have foundered on seas of vichy and buttermilk, and I show them the joys of alcoholism without cost. We share each other's pleasures and perplexities, at my expense. They are my brothers. I am optimistic; I laugh; I play cards for money; I turkey-trot.
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