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Updated: May 31, 2025


Linking her arm through her friend's, she went downstairs and into the barely furnished dining-room, which was so very unlike an English hotel dining-room. In this dining-room the wallpaper simulated a vine-covered trellis, from out of which peeped blue-plumaged birds, and on each little table, covered by an unbleached table-cloth, stood an oil and vinegar cruet and a half-bottle of wine.

'And we also, I hope, said Mr Wopples, ungrammatically. 'Come and see "The Cruet Stand" again. I'll put your name on the free list. M. Vandeloup thanked the actor warmly for this kind offer, and took himself off; as he passed along the street he heard a burst of laughter from the Wopples family, no doubt caused by some witticism of the head of the clan.

His purse, like an oil cruet. The fibulae, or lesser bones of his His genitals, like a joiner's planer. legs, like a pair of stilts. Their erecting muscles, like a His shin-bones, like sickles. racket. His elbows, like a mouse-trap. The perineum, like a flageolet. His hands, like a curry-comb. His arse-hole, like a crystal look- His neck, like a talboy. ing-glass.

Other paragraphs in the report read thus: "Received anonymously five large cheeses; received a box of dessert knives and forks, a cruet, a silver soup ladle and a silver cup; from Clifton, twelve tons house coals; from Bedminster, a monster loaf, 200 lbs. in weight, and ten feet long and twenty-one inches broad".

These are interesting specimens; but they are so few in number that, were it not for the wall-paintings, we should have but a very imperfect idea of the skill of the Egyptian goldsmiths. Ornamental basket in precious metal. Crater of precious metal, borne by slaves. Hydria of precious metal. Enamelled cruet. Enamelled cruet.

But, Ah! you have such a sweet wife, and Job's was such a vinegar cruet." It is, perhaps, hardly necessary to explain that F.O.J. Smith was nicknamed "Fog" Smith, and that the "Scotch Itch" referred to the telegraph of Alexander Bain, which, for a time, was used by the enemies of Morse in the effort to break down his patent rights. The other allusions were to the politics of the day.

'Its a translation from the German, sir, said Mr Wopples, taking a drink of sherry and water, 'and was originally produced in London as "The Pickle Bottle", the will being hidden with the family onions. In Melbourne it was the success of the year under the same title. I, with an air of genius, 'called it "The Cruet Stand". 'Then how did you get a hold of it, asked Villiers.

From that moment his manner towards the First Consul was rather that of a courtier than an equal. The plenipotentiaries who had been appointed to examine and sign the Concordat were Joseph Bonaparte, Cruet, and the Abbe Bernier. The First Consul, in this same conversation, the opening of which I have just related, discussed with his two companions the subject of the conferences on the Concordat.

From that moment his manner towards the First Consul was rather that of a courtier than an equal. The plenipotentiaries who had been appointed to examine and sign the Concordat were Joseph Bonaparte, Cruet, and the Abbe Bernier. The First Consul, in this same conversation, the opening of which I have just related, discussed with his two companions the subject of the conferences on the Concordat.

'Tis no consolation when a man's lost his sweetheart to order hot corn and have the waiter bring him the powdered sugar cruet instead of salt and then conceal himself, or to have Zozookum, the gipsy palmist, tell him that he has three children and to look out for another serious calamity; price twenty-five cents.

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