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Updated: May 31, 2025
"I am authorized formally to make over the property to you and to collect the two and a half million remaining to be paid." "Barring the slight difference of a million dollars the amount is correct," replied Johnny dryly. "I have the million and a half balance ready, but I had expected Mr. Birchard to come in and finish the transaction."
Then, more dreamily still, "His middle name was Birchard." "I know why you think he's conceited," Mary went on, warming up to the never-ending pleasure of analysis, "but it's because he's really diffident. Lots of people I know who people think are snobby are only just diffident." "What on earth do you mean by saying that Rutherford Hayes was diffident? He wasn't a bit.
Courtney very sweetly indeed and all unheeding of the laugh, "I pick them by a better system than you employ when you invite stag parties. You usually need to be introduced to your guests. Just whom would you like to have me send home?" "Paul Gresham for one," replied Courtney bluntly, "and the entire Wobbles tribe, with their friend Birchard, for some more."
Gamble completes his payments. The deed will then be delivered to him and properly recorded. Is this correct, Mr. Gamble?" "I couldn't say it so well, but that's what I mean," replied Johnny. "Then, gentlemen," continued Birchard, "I should advise you to sign the papers at once and have the matter off your minds."
And when I looked up to see why she didn't finish, she was gone, sure enough." His voice broke, and he stopped abruptly. Mr. Birchard, without in the least intending to do it, grasped his hand, and held it with affectionate warmth for a moment. "Thank you, young man, thank you kindly," said Uncle Jabez, recovering his voice and shaking Mr. Birchard's hand heartily at the same moment.
Birchard, pausing for a reply, that the sceptic was obliged to answer in some way, and, with a curious sort of reluctance, he said slowly, "Yes I suppose I'm sure you would." This seemed to satisfy Uncle Jabez, and he went on with his story: "I came home from town one stormy night, about six months after she died, pretty well beat out, entirely so, I may say.
"Birchard is not representing the Wobbleses," Gresham politely informed him. "I had a little talk with them on the Tuesday following the house-party at Courtney's, and they decided to have me look after the matter instead.
"I wouldn't say what I know about Birchard except on a witness-stand," chuckled Collaton, "but I can tell you this much: if he got anything, throw it a good-by kiss; for he can rub himself out better than any man I ever saw. He's practised hiding till he doesn't know himself where he is half of the time." "I've passed him up," stated Johnny.
Well, at our friend Courtney's house-party, Gresham was all for Birchard to handle this business; fairly forced him on us, don't you know; but on Tuesday he came to us much pained, I assure you, and in the greatest confidence told us he was sure the beggar was not the man for the place. Been mixed up in a rotten money scandal or so, don't you know."
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