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Here I am in Paris, gloomy, with nothing to do, not knowing how to fill up the void in my life, discontented with myself, ridiculous in my own eyes, alike in my love and in my despair. I have never felt so sad, so wretched, so cast-down. My days and nights are passed in endless self-accusation: one by one I revise every word and action relating to Louise Guérin.
That kind of vague self-accusation means nothing. I have no doubt I shall live to see you a great man, and to be proud enough of being able to claim you as the chosen friend of my youth. Mr. Branston's death has cleared the way for you. The chances of a distinguished future are within your grasp." "The chances within my grasp! Yes.
These last words he spoke as if it were to himself, and with a violent gesture of self-accusation, and then calmly proceeded, "You will remember all this? That is all that is necessary to be said." "But I cannot remember," answered Jeanie, with simplicity, "that which Effie never told me."
'I saw it again, he said with a sigh. 'Saw what! 'What you all mean. It touched me, and seemed true and real when Lance was singing. What was it "Born to save the sons of earth"? Oh! but such as I am, and at my age, too! And with a few words from Mr. Audley, there came such a disburthening of self-accusation as before to Felix.
This process of thought permitted his armor of self-righteousness to be worn in accord with thrift and the accomplishment of his wishes and to remain the while undented by self-accusation. The first days of her wedding trip had been marked, for Conscience, by a numbed vagueness, which brought a kindly blunting of all her emotions.
Where he had concealed himself while the mob were in search of him, was not known. He looked haggard; and his eyes were anxious and restless. Two murders in his house, occurring in a single day, were quite enough to darken his spirits; and the more so, as his relations with both the victims were not of a character to awaken any thing but self-accusation.
But as it is, Laura, we must look to enduring the consequence all our lives, and give each other what support we may. Laura could hardly brook his self-accusation, but she could no longer argue the point; and there was far more peace and truth before them than when she believed him infallible, and therefore justified herself for all she had done in blind obedience to him.
"Well, you see, I'm not the stuff that saints good saints, I mean, are made of; and rather than not be a good one, if I once set about it, I would, saving your presence, be the devil himself." Hester laughed, yet with some self-accusation. "I think," she said softly, "one day you will be as good a saint as love can wish you to be."
There in the icy Jordan, on that chill December afternoon, when the snows lay thick on the ground, the leaders stood and buried the sinful ones anew in the cleansing waters. From the sinners themselves came cries of self-accusation; from the crowd on the banks came the strains of hymns to fortify them for the icy ordeal and the public confession.
A cold chill came over him, and the image of pretty Ino rose up before him Ino, who had trusted in his love; and to whom, of all others, he had given cause to accuse him of false- heartedness. An unpleasant sense came over him of dissatisfaction with himself, such as he, who always regarded self-accusation, repentance, and atonement as a foolish waste of life, had never before experienced.
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