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Updated: May 20, 2025
"It used to be Pfingst & Gusthaler," Klinger went on, "in the rubber goods business on Wooster Street. First they made it raincoats, and then they went into rubber boots, and just naturally they got into bicycle tires, and then comes the oitermobile craze, and Gusthaler dies, and so Pfingst sells oitermobile tires, and now he's in the oitermobile business."
Ain't it?" "D'ye mean to tell me you ain't never rode in an oitermobile yet?" Kleebaum exclaimed. "You got it right," Abe said, "and what's more I ain't never going to neither." "What you trying to give me?" Kleebaum asked. "You mean to say if I would ask you you should come riding with me now, you would turn me down?" "I bet yer I would," Abe declared.
"You done right, Mawruss," Abe interrupted. "The first thing you know Fixman would claim that the oitermobile ain't the same shade of red like the sample, Mawruss, and stops the check." "Fixman ain't that kind, Abe," Morris retorted.
I bet yer Max will get the biggest oitermobile he can find up there right away, and he's going to steal her away from us, sure, if we don't hustle." "Dreams you got it, Abe," Morris said. "How should this here young feller, Ralph Tuchman, know that Miss Aaronson was a customer of his Uncle Max Tuchman, Abe?" Abe looked at Morris more in sorrow than in anger.
"Say, lookyhere, Kleebaum," Abe cried, "am I trying to sell you some cloaks or are you trying to sell me an oitermobile? Because if you are, I'm sorry I got to tell you I ain't in the market for an oitermobile just at present. On the other hand, Mr. Kleebaum, I got a line of garments here which it is a pleasure for me to show you, even if you wouldn't buy so much as a button."
"As a matter of fact, Sol," he said, "I ain't seen Brady in a month, y'understand, but supposing Brady should come across you in an oitermobile down at Coney Island at nine o'clock in the morning, y'understand. I bet yer he would call for a new statement from you and Klein the very next day, Sol, and make you swear to it on a truck load of Bibles already. A feller shouldn't take no chances, Sol."
Moe Rabiner says that they got weather like January already out in Minnesota, and every retail dry-goods concern is kicking that they ain't seen a dollar's worth of business this spring." "But Kleebaum's got a tremendous following in Minneapolis, Abe," Morris said. "He's got an oitermobile delivery system." "Don't pull that on me again, Mawruss," Abe broke in.
Abe surveyed Kleebaum with a puzzled stare. "Say, lookyhere, Kleebaum," he said, "if you thought you would get me to buy an oitermobile by giving me this here order, Kleebaum, I'm satisfied you should cancel it. Because again I got to tell it you, Kleebaum, I ain't in the market for oitermobiles just yet awhile." Kleebaum clapped Abe on the shoulder.
"I will do this thing to satisfy you, Abe," he said, "but I tell you right now, Abe, it ain't necessary, because Kleebaum is as good as gold, y'understand, and if you don't want to ship him the goods you don't have to." Abe grinned ironically. "How could you talk like that, Mawruss, when the feller is doing you a favor by selling you that oitermobile for twenty-one hundred dollars!" he said.
Ain't it?" "Is that so?" Abe said. "I thought Klinger was such a good friend to us, Mawruss. Also, Mawruss, you say yourself on Saturday that a feller what's got an oitermobile is a crook yet." "Me!" Morris cried indignantly. "I never said no such thing, Abe. Always you got to twist around what I say, Abe. What I told you was " "S'all right, Mawruss," Abe said. "I'll take your word for it.
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