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Updated: June 19, 2025
"Oh, shut up. What do you want to know?" "First," said Gootes briskly, "what is this stuff?" "The Metamorphizer?" He nodded. "You want the chemical formula?" "Wouldnt do me or my readers the least bit of good and you wouldnt give it to me if I asked. Why should you? No, enlighten me in English." "It is a compound on the order of colchicine, acting through the somaplasm of the plant.
Quick inspections made, plans checked, an order was rasped to clear the vicinity. Gootes' agonized protest that he had to report the occasion for the Intelligencer's readers was ignored. "Can't start making exceptions," explained Captain Eltwiss.
Captain Eltwiss I kept wondering where I'd heard the name was constantly being interrupted in what was apparently a very friendly conversation with Gootes by the arrival of officiallooking envelopes which he immediately stuffed into his pocket with every indication of vexation. "Silly old fools," he muttered, each time the incident happened.
He continued to subject me to the indignity of being "ghosted," a thoroughly expressive term, which by a combination of bad conjugation and the suggestion of insubstantiality defines the sort of prose produced, by Jacson Gootes.
As we walked back I reflected that at any rate I was saved from submitting Miss Francis to vulgar publicity. Everything is for the best Ive seen a hundred instances to prove it. Perhaps who knew something might yet happen to make it possible for me to profit by the freak growth. "Needs a transfusion," remarked Gootes as we stood on the sidewalk before it.
Call off all your minions and repent, lest if the holy messenger be injured a more terrible one is sent. But now, my friends, I see my time is up; please send your contributions so urgently needed to carry on the Divine Work to Brother Paul care of the station to which you are listening." "That's one way of looking at it," said Gootes. "Adios amigos."
"I'm reasonably certain youve been authorized to advance me the other thirty, but I hope we're both sensible people and I'll be glad to sign a receipt for the full amount if youll let me have twentyfive." "Albert, youre a fine fellow a prince." On a page from his notebook he wrote, Of Jacson Gootes, $50 U.S. and I signed it. He handed me another twentydollarbill and put his wallet away.
Since their activity, except for its urgency and the strangeness of the situation, didnt differ from labors observable any time a street was repaired or a foundation laid, I saw no point in watching, hour after hour. I thought Gootes' persistence less a devotion to duty than the idle curiosity which makes grown men gape at a steamshovel.
A microphone and automatic moviecamera ... Goony Gootes, they called him, the man who missed all bets.... A captive balloon, now.... Hay! What about a roof?" "Trees," I objected, with a mental picture of him bursting into the nearest house and demanding entrance to the roof. "Bushwa. Zair's no tree in z' way of z' old box over zair allons!"
I was reminded of the well where Gootes died for here except on one small side the grass rose like the inside of a stovepipe to the sky; but I suffered neither the same despair nor the unaccountable elation I had upon that hill, perhaps because the trough was so much bigger or because the animate thing was not beneath my feet to communicate those feelings directly.
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