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Updated: June 2, 2025
'Nay, quoth Thomas Idle, 'I have not done with Annie Laurie yet. And he proceeded with that idle but popular ballad, to the effect that for the bonnie young person of that name he would 'lay him doon and dee' equivalent, in prose, to lay him down and die. 'What an ass that fellow was! cried Goodchild, with the bitter emphasis of contempt. 'Which fellow? asked Thomas Idle.
He remarked lightly, and half apologetically, 'I think somebody is walking over my grave. 'No, said the weird old man, 'there is no one there. Mr. Goodchild looked at Idle, but Idle lay with his head enwreathed in smoke. 'No one there? said Goodchild. 'There is no one at your grave, I assure you, said the old man. He had come in and shut the door, and he now sat down.
This donkey was the public excitement of Allonby, and was probably supported at the public expense. The foregoing descriptions, delivered in separate items, on separate days of adventurous discovery, Mr. Goodchild severally wound up, by looking out of window, looking in again, and saying, 'But there is the sea, and here are the shrimps let us eat 'em.
The Doctor paused. Mr. Goodchild, who had been following every word that fell from his lips up to this time, leaned forward eagerly to ask a question. Before he could say a word, the latch of the door was raised, without any warning sound of footsteps in the passage outside.
Therefore, Thomas said to Francis on a day when they had looked at the sea and eaten the shrimps, 'My mind misgives me, Goodchild, that you go to Maryport, like the boy in the story-book, to ask IT to be idle with you. 'Judge, then, returned Francis, adopting the style of the story- book, 'with what success.
"Miss Goodchild taught me to make it, Granny, and she said you would like me to have it; and I have worked you such a pretty linen cover for your prayer-book; Nancy is going to unpack it after tea. And doesn't Turly look sweet in his velvet knickers? The pockets of his other things are all gone in holes with marbles. And oh, Turly, only see what a lovely tea Granny is going to give us!
The settlement of the question of The One old man and The Two old men was thus presently complicated, and soon made quite impracticable. Mr. Idle said it was all Bride-cake, and fragments, newly arranged, of things seen and thought about in the day. Mr. Goodchild said how could that be, when he hadn't been asleep, and what right could Mr. Idle have to say so, who had been asleep? Mr.
Goodchild having wiped the perspiration from his brow, or tried to do it, the Two old men proceeded in one voice, and in the singular number: 'I had been anatomised, but had not yet had my skeleton put together and re-hung on an iron hook, when it began to be whispered that the Bride's Chamber was haunted. It WAS haunted, and I was there. 'WE were there. She and I were there.
Submitting to the powerful chain of argument, Goodchild proposed a return to the Metropolis, and a falling back upon Euston Square Terminus. Thomas assented with alacrity, and so they walked down into the North by the next morning's express, and carried their knapsacks in the luggage-van. It was like all other expresses, as every express is and must be.
The point in debate is settled as before between Goodchild and the landlord, and the expedition moves on, not down the mountain, but marching straight forward round the slope of it. The difficulty of following this new route is acutely felt by Thomas Idle.
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