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Updated: June 4, 2025


Pat Dearman had settled down to make her good husband happy, to have a good time and to do any amount of Good to other people especially to young men who have so many temptations, are so thoughtless, and who easily become the prey of such dreadful people and such dreadful habits. Now it is to be borne in mind that Mrs.

Long-haired men put Dearman off, and he could not connect the virile virtues with large bows, velvet coats, scent, manicure, mannerisms and meandering. But if Augustus gave his wife any pleasure why Augustus had not lived wholly in vain.

Pat Dearman took him to Church, as she frequently did, on Sunday evenings, he was filled with great longings and with a conviction of the eternal Truth and Beauty of Christianity and the essential nobility of its gentle, unselfish, lofty teachings.

Such a Company appeared to him to be the one and only hope of regeneration for the ludicrous corps which Colonel Dearman commanded, and to change the metaphor, the sole possible means of leavening the lump by its example of high standards and high achievement. To Augustus, however, as to many other Englishmen, the idea was merely ridiculous and its parent simply absurd.

He needed her as much as ever and loved her as devotedly and honourably.... The boat was turned back at the weir and, half an hour later, reached the Club wharf. "I want to go straight home without changing, Pat; do you mind? I'll drop you at the Gymkhana if you don't want to get home so early," said Dearman, as he helped his wife out. "Won't you change and have a drink first, John?" she replied.

"For God's sake get on parade and play the man this day," cried Colonel Dearman, as he hurried out to meet the General, scoring his right boot with his left spur and tripping over his sword en route. The General greeted the Colonel as a total stranger, addressed him as "Colonel," and said he anticipated great pleasure from this his first visit to the well-known Gungapur Fusiliers.

Among the nasty-minded old women who "talked" was the Mad Hatter. "Shameful thing the way that Dearman woman throws dust in her husband's eyes!" said he, while sipping his third Elsie May at the club bar. "He should divorce her. I would, to-morrow, if I were burdened with her."

On hearing of the first, Captain Ross-Ellison showed his teeth in a wolfish and ugly manner, and, on hearing of the second, propounded a scheme of vengeance that made Colonel Dearman grin and then burst into a roar of laughter. He bade Captain Ross-Ellison dine with him and elaborate details of the scheme.

He gave up the morning nip, docked the number of cocktails, went to bed before two, took a little gentle exercise, met Mrs. Mrs. Dearman whom, in his letters to her, Dickie had described as "a jolly old buster, simply full of money, and fairly spoiling for a wife to help him blew it in."

And Colonel Dearman knew that he must not announce the awful fact until the Corps was actually present or few men and fewer Officers would find it possible to be on parade on that occasion. Saturday evening came, and with it some five hundred men and Officers the latter as a body, much whiter-faced than usual, on receipt of the appalling news.

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