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Updated: July 29, 2025
The young ladies who were selected to show off on the occasion, and do credit to the establishment, practised incessantly, much to their own satisfaction, and greatly to the annoyance of the lame old gentleman over the way; and a constant correspondence was kept up, between the Misses Crumpton and the Hammersmith pastrycook.
Miss Amelia, thus advised, proceeded to read the following note with an air of great triumph: ‘Cornelius Brook Dingwall, Esq., M.P., presents his compliments to Miss Crumpton, and will feel much obliged by Miss Crumpton’s calling on him, if she conveniently can, to-morrow morning at one o’clock, as Cornelius Brook Dingwall, Esq., M.P., is anxious to see Miss Crumpton on the subject of placing Miss Brook Dingwall under her charge.
‘Oh, what do you think?’ said another girl, running into the room; ‘Miss Crumpton says her cousin’s coming.’ ‘What! Theodosius Butler?’ said everybody in raptures. ‘Is he handsome?’ inquired a novice. ‘No, not particularly handsome,’ was the general reply; ‘but, oh, so clever!’ Mr. Theodosius Butler was one of those immortal geniuses who are to be met with in almost every circle.
See. p. lxxii. After he had lain in jail five or six days, an application was made to a liberal justice at Elstow, named Crumpton, to release him on bail; but he declined, fearing to give offence. He, however, so felt for this persecuted servant of Christ, as to sell him an edifice and barn, which, upon his release, was converted into a large meeting-house. Vol. ii., p. 107.
‘She’s the daughter of a member of parliament,’ said Maria.—Theodosius started. ‘And her name is—?’ he inquired. ‘Miss Brook Dingwall.’ ‘Great Heaven!’ poetically exclaimed Theodosius, in a low tone. Miss Crumpton commenced the introduction in due form. Miss Brook Dingwall languidly raised her head. ‘Edward!’ she exclaimed, with a half-shriek, on seeing the well-known nankeen legs.
‘Amelia, my dear,’ said Miss Maria Crumpton, entering the school-room one morning, with her false hair in papers: as she occasionally did, in order to impress the young ladies with a conviction of its reality. ‘Amelia, my dear, here is a most gratifying note I have just received. You needn’t mind reading it aloud.’
Even the facetious young gentleman would have been a relief. Miss Crumpton began the duet. She hoped Mrs. Brook Dingwall and the handsome little boy were in good health. They were. Mrs. Brook Dingwall and little Frederick were at Brighton. ‘Much obliged to you, Miss Crumpton,’ said Cornelius, in his most dignified manner, ‘for your attention in calling this morning.
Miss Amelia Crumpton owned to thirty-eight, and Miss Maria Crumpton admitted she was forty; an admission which was rendered perfectly unnecessary by the self-evident fact of her being at least fifty. They dressed in the most interesting manner—like twins! and looked as happy and comfortable as a couple of marigolds run to seed.
The footman tapped at the door—the legislator started from his reverie, and ‘Miss Crumpton’ was announced. Permission was given for Miss Crumpton to enter the sanctum; Maria came sliding in, and having taken her seat with a due portion of affectation, the footman retired, and the governess was left alone with the M.P. Oh! how she longed for the presence of a third party!
After a little pleasantry from the sweet child, who amused himself by running away with Miss Maria Crumpton’s chair as fast as it was placed for her, the visitors were seated, and Cornelius Brook Dingwall, Esq., opened the conversation. He had sent for Miss Crumpton, he said, in consequence of the high character he had received of her establishment from his friend, Sir Alfred Muggs.
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