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Coming home from the theater tonight, still dazed with the revelation of what I am capable of, once aroused, I asked Miss Everett if her couzin had said anything about Mr. Egleston being in love with the Leading Character. She observed: "No. But he may be. She is very pretty." "Possably," I remarked. "But I should like to see her in the morning, when she gets up."
For instance, at dinner today, being mostly faculty and a few girls who live in the Far West, the conversation was entirely on buying a Phonograph for dancing because the music teacher has the meazles and is quarentined in the infirmery. And on Miss Everett's couzin, who has written a play. When one looks at Miss Everett, one recognises that no couzin of hers could write a play.
I am not ugly, but I am not beautifull, my noze being too short. And as for clothes, I get none except Leila's old things. But Jane Raleigh says there are women like that. She has a couzin who has had four Husbands and is beginning on a fifth, although not pretty and very slovenly, but with a mass of red hair. Are all men to be my Lovers?
I have also ruined Miss Everett's couzin. The nurse is still asleep. I think I will enter a hospitle. My career is ended, my Life is blasted. I reach under the mattress and draw out the picture of him who today I have ruined, compeling him to do manual labor for hours, although unacustomed to it. He is a great actor, and I beleive has a future. But my love for him is dead.
I am but a stranger here, although I try hard to be otherwise." "Because we might help along, if there is anyone. To get her married is your only hope, Bab. They're afraid of you. That's all. You're the tipe to atract Men, except your noze, and you could help that by pulling it. My couzin did that, only she did it to much, and made it pointed." I looked in my mirror and sighed.
As Jane's second couzin once removed is in this school and as Jane will probably write her all about it, I hope this Theme is read aloud in class, so she will get it all straight. Jane is imaginative and may have a wrong idea of things. "Don't give in. Let them bully you. They can't really do anything. And they're scared. Leila is positively sick."
Jane is not pretty, but she has nice eyes, and I am not afraid, second couzin once removed or no second couzin once removed, to say she used them. Altogether, it was a terrible evening. I danced three dances out of four with knickerbockers, and one with old Mr. Adams, who is fat and rotates his partner at the corners by swinging her on his waistcoat.
He remembered the name. "Would you be willing to do her a great favor?" I demanded intencely. "What sort of a favor?" "Her couzin has written a play. She is very fond of her couzin, and anxious to have him suceed. And it is a lovely play." He held me off and stared at me. "So THAT is what you were doing in that box alone!" he exclaimed. "You incomprehensable child!
He called her "Couzin" and he would write like this: Dear Couzin: I am well. Am just about crazy this week to go home. See notice enclosed you football game. And so on and on. Only what it really said was "I am crazy to see you." As I had nobody, at that time, and as I had visions of a Career, I was a man-hater. I acknowledge that this was a pose. But after all, what is life but a pose?
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