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Updated: May 7, 2025
You can't expect We are a Free Trade Government. Our consciences " "Very well," I said. "Go on with the war. Bombard Belfast. Kill another woman. Smash the Albert Memorial with a shell." "Our consciences " said Clithering. "Your consciences," I said, "will have to let you do one thing or the other." "Now take my own case," said Clithering. "I am interested, deeply interested, in hosiery.
The meeting broke up without reaching any decision at all; and the Belfast demonstration remained on the list of fixtures for the next week. Sir Samuel Clithering, originally a manufacturer of hosiery in the midlands, was at this time acting regularly as an official ambassador of the Cabinet.
I should, in fact, have preferred any other private secretary. But I had not the heart to say so. The experience of the last few days had softened me, and Godfrey looked immensely pleased with himself. He had on a new frock coat, beautifully cut, and a pair of trousers of an exquisite shade of grey. He also had a pale mauve tie with a pearl pin in it. Clithering began rather pompously.
What's the use of your arguing on about every little point?" "But," said Clithering, "the collection of the revenue! Between ourselves now, Lord Kilmore, do you think there would be any risk of your imposing a tariff on " "Certain to," I said. "It will be one of the first things we do." "We can't agree to that," said Clithering. "Free Trade is a principle, a sacred principle with us.
I don't know what the political consequences of that may be, but you'll get off the moral guilt, and there'll be no bloodshed." This ought to have cheered and consoled Clithering; but it did not. It made him more nervous than ever. "I must go at once," he said, "and see the General in command. Everything must be " He left the room hurriedly without finishing his sentence. This annoyed me.
I know him to be a conscientious, scrupulously honourable man, and I should hate to give him pain. Under ordinary circumstances, that is, if things had gone in Ulster in the way things usually do go, Clithering would have felt it necessary to assert publicly in the papers that he did not write the letter.
The writing evidently soothed him. When he had finished he asked me quite calmly whether I thought he would really be hanged if he went to the post-office. I was not at all sure that he would not. Clithering sighed when he heard my opinion. Then he sat silent for a long time, evidently trying to make up his mind to the hanging.
The whisky which he swallowed revived him in the most amazing way. "Have they gone?" he asked. "If you mean the soldiers," said Bland, "they have. I can't imagine why, but they have." "I telegraphed to the Prime Minister," said Clithering. "It was hours and hours ago. Or was it yesterday? It was just before I saw the woman shot.
"They're just going to hang a nephew of mine," I explained, "for writing a letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. You can see for yourself that a telegram to the Prime Minister is much worse. I really think you'd better stay where you are." But Clithering was, unfortunately, in a mood of hysterical heroism.
"We realize it," I said, "but we don't altogether appreciate it. In fact, we feel that your way of conducting the war has been rather insulting to us." "You don't mean to say," said Clithering, "that you really wanted us to to shoot in earnest?" "We did. In fact one of the alternatives which I am empowered to offer you " "Offer us!
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