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Updated: May 23, 2025
But in the hours subsequent to that action the plausible, inner voice had whispered unceasingly, soothing his wounded self-esteem, rebuilding stone by stone the temple of his egotism; until at last when Chilcote, panic-stricken at his own action, had burst into his rooms ready to plead or to coerce, he had found no need for either coercion or entreaty.
Chilcote, startled by the jangle, rose from his seat; then, as if driven by an uncontrollable impulse, he spoke again. "You probably think I am mad " he began. Loder took his pipe out of his mouth. "I am not so presumptuous," he said, quietly. For a space the other eyed him silently, as if trying to gauge his thoughts; then once more he broke into speech. "Look here," he said.
Unconscious of this capricious alternation between darkness and light, Chilcote continued his course. To a close observer the manner of his going had both interest and suggestion; for though he walked on, apparently self-engrossed, yet at every dozen steps he started at some sound or some touch, like a man whose nervous system is painfully overstrung.
"I am afraid I am not an authority on nerves," he said. But Chilcote was preoccupied. His thoughts had turned into another channel. "How old are you?" he asked, suddenly. The other did not answer immediately. "My age?" he said at last, slowly. "Oh, I believe I shall be thirty-six to-morrow to be quite accurate." Chilcote lifted his head quickly. "Why do you use that tone?" he asked.
But you have an erratic person to deal with. I've had a horrible day a horrible day." His face had paled again, and in the green lamplight it possessed a grayish hue. Involuntarily Loder turned away. Chilcote watched him as he passed to the desk and began mechanically sorting papers. "A horrible day!" he repeated. "So bad that I daren't face the night.
"You haven't quite grasped me yet, I can see. I'm a man of moods, you know. Up to the present you've seen my slack side, my jarred side, but I have quite another when I care to show it. I'm a sort of Jekyll-and-Hyde affair." Again he laughed, and Greening echoed the sound diffidently. Chilcote had evidently discouraged familiarity. Loder eyed him with abrupt understanding.
"No, I don't think I ever saw you look so well." She was quite unconscious and very charming as she made the admission. It struck Loder that her coloring of hair and eyes gained by daylight were brightened and vivified by their setting of sombre river and sombre stone. Fraide smiled at her affectionately; then looked at Loder. "Chilcote has got anew lease of nerves, Eve," he said, quietly.
The similarity between them as they faced each other seemed abnormal, defying even the closest scrutiny. And yet, so mysterious is Nature even in her lapses, they were subtly, indefinably different. Chilcote was Loder deprived of one essential: Loder, Chilcote with that essential bestowed.
Presently the servant departed, and solemnly reentered carrying a silver tray, with cups, a teapot, and cakes. Having adjusted them to his satisfaction, he turned to Loder. "Mrs. Chilcote will be with you in five minutes, sir," he said. He waited for some response, but Loder gave none. Again he had found the advantages of silence, but this time it was silence of a compulsory kind.
He was striving hard to keep his own mind cool, to steer his own course straight through the chaos that confronted him. "Chilcote," he began once more, "you sent for me last night, and I came the first thing this morning to tell you " But there he stopped. With an excitement that lent him strength, Chilcote pushed aside his hands. "God!" he said, suddenly, "suppose 'twas lost suppose 'twas gone!"
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