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They are also pleasantly nicknamed the Bobees, an appellation that took its rise in the circumstance that most of the members of their body have submitted to the second dock, and, indeed, have nearly obliterated every sign of a CAUDA. I had, most luckily, been chosen to sit in the House of Bobees, a station for which I felt myself well qualified, in this great essential at least; for all the anointing and forcing resorted to by Noah and myself, during our voyage out, and our residence in Leaphigh, had not produced so much as a visible sprout in either.
Once a brawny humorist wrote to Doggie Trevor "Sursum cauda." Doggie happened to be at the time in a water-logged front trench in Flanders and the writer basking in the mild sunshine of Simla with his Territorial regiment. Doggie, bidden by the Hedonist of circumstance to up with his tail, felt like a scorpion. Such feelings, however, will be more adequately dealt with hereafter.
I would gladly have pursued the conversation, which was opening a flood of light upon my political understanding; but just then, a fellow with the air of a footman entered, carrying a packet tied to the end of his cauda. Turning round, he presented his burden, with profound respect, and withdrew.
Thus, the physical part of man is much greater in proportion to the spiritual, than it is in the monikin; his habits are grosser and less intellectual; he requires sauce and condiments in his food; he is farther removed from simplicity, and, by necessary implication, from high civilization; he eats flesh, a certain proof that the material principle is still strong in the ascendant; he has no cauda "
"That he would now go to court to present his substitute, and to take leave himself; after which he would return as fast as possible, and detain us no longer than was necessary to put his cauda in pepper, to protect it against the moths; for heaven knew what prize he might draw in the next turn of the little wheel!"
The Archbishop died in eighteen hours, and the autopsy showed that the ball had fractured the transverse process of the 3d lumbar vertebra, and divided the cauda equina just below its origin; it had then changed direction and passed up toward the left kidney, dividing the ureter near the pelvis, and finally lodged in the psoas muscle.
The extremities of our cauda, as fast as they are lopped, are sent to a great intellectual mill, where the mind is extracted from the matter, and the former is sold, on public account, to the editors of the daily journals.
Under a due impression of the exigency of such a state of things, the common law not statute law, my lords, which is apt to be tainted with the imperfections of monikin reason in its isolated or individual state, usually bearing the impress of the single cauda from which it emanated but the common law, the known receptacle of all the common sense of the nation in such a state of things, then, has the common law long since decreed that his majesty's first-cousin should be the keeper of his majesty's conscience; and, by necessary legal implication, endowed with his majesty's judgment, his majesty's reason, and finally, his majesty's memory.
I expressed my regrets, therefore, as succinctly as possible, encouraging him with the hope of seeing a new covering of down before long, but delicately abstaining from any allusion to the cauda, whose loss I knew was irretrievable. To my great surprise, however, the judge answered cheerfully; discarding, for the moment, every appearance of self-abasement and mortification. "How is this?"
For a few centuries, they went on multiplying in numbers, elongating and rendering still more consecutive their cauda, improving in knowledge and the arts, until some spirits, more audacious than the rest, became restive under the slow march of events, which led them towards perfection at a rate ill-suited to their fiery impatience.
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