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Updated: June 22, 2025
"One morning I heard the devil's own noise of drums and horns, and Dan Dravot marches down the hill with his Army and a tail of hundreds of men, and, which was the most amazing, a great gold crown on his head. 'My Gord, Carnehan, says Daniel, 'this is a tremenjus business, and we've got the whole country as far as it's worth having.
It too, as Carnehan and Dravot learn to their sorrow, is a land of impenetrable mystery. Plot. The real plot does not begin to unfold itself until Carnehan, wrecked in body and mind, returns to the newspaper office and tries to report his experiences. Thus nearly one half of the story may be called introductory or preliminary. This is unusual with Kipling and with all other modern story writers.
He had reduced the alphabet to eleven primitive sounds; and tried to teach me his method, but I could not understand. "I sent that letter to Dravot," said Carnehan; "and told him to come back because this Kingdom was growing too big for me to handle, and then I struck for the first valley, to see how the priests were working.
The morning sun that had long been paling the lamps struck the red beard and blind sunken eyes; struck, too, a heavy circlet of gold studded with raw turquoises, that Carnehan placed tenderly on the battered temples. "You be'old now," said Carnehan, "the Emperor in his 'abit as he lived the King of Kafiristan with his crown upon his head. Poor old Daniel that was a monarch once!"
That was all rock, and there was a little village there, and Carnehan says, 'Send 'em to the old valley to plant, and takes 'em there and gives 'em some land that wasn't took before. They were a poor lot, and we blooded 'em with a kid before letting 'em into the new Kingdom.
"What was you pleased to say?" whined Carnehan. "They took them without any sound. Not a little whisper all along the snow, not though the King knocked down the first man that set hand on him not though old Peachey fired his last cartridge into the brown of 'em. Not a single solitary sound did those swines make. They just closed up tight, and I tell you their furs stunk.
The morning sun, that had long been paling the lamps, struck the red beard and blind sunken eyes; struck, too, a heavy circlet of gold studded with raw turquoises, that Carnehan placed tenderly on the battered temples. "You be'old now," said Carnehan, "the Emperor in his 'abit as he lived the King of Kafiristan with his crown upon his head. Poor old Daniel that was a monarch once!"
They went up and up, and down and down, and that other party, Carnehan, was imploring of Dravot not to sing and whistle so loud, for fear of bringing down the tremenjus avalanches. But Dravot says that if a King couldn't sing it wasn't worth being King, and whacked the mules over the rump, and never took no heed for ten cold days.
In this office we settled it you setting there and giving us the books. I am Peachey, Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan, and you've been setting here ever since O Lord!" I was more than a little astonished, and expressed my feelings accordingly. "It's true," said Carnehan, with a dry cackle, nursing his feet, which were wrapped in rags "true as gospel.
Then Carnehan goes alone to the Chief, and asks him in dumb show if he had an enemy he hated. I have, says the Chief. So Carnehan weeds out the pick of his men, and sets the two of the Army to show them drill and at the end of two weeks the men can manuvre about as well as Volunteers.
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