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Updated: June 13, 2025
"Very well, but how do you explain the rain which passed over the highest mountains those that are two leagues in height. Just think of it! Two leagues! a depth of water that makes two leagues!" And the mayor, coming up, added: "Bless my soul! What a bath!" "Admit," said Bouvard, "that Moses exaggerates like the devil."
He knew what their dream was, and one fine day he called on them to let them know that he had been told about an estate at Chavignolles, between Caen and Falaise. This comprised a farm of thirty-eight hectares, with a kind of château, and a garden in a very productive state. They proceeded to Calvados, and were quite enraptured. Bouvard did not want to give more than a hundred and twenty thousand.
However, her talents for housekeeping were well known, and she had a little farm, which was admirably looked after. Foureau asked Bouvard, "Is it your intention to sell yours?" "Upon my word, up to this I don't know what to do exactly." "What! not even the Escalles piece?" interposed the notary. "That would suit you, Madame Bordin."
This was the way that he interpreted the right to work, Gorju's talk having turned his brain. He went away only after violent threats from Bouvard. Madame Bordin, by way of compensation, did not pay for the manual labour, and kept the manure. She was wise: the doctor's wife, and even the notary's, though of higher social position, respected her for it. The charity workshops lasted a week.
The fowl shut his eyes, and soon presented the appearance of being dead. The same process was gone through with the others. Bouvard passed them quickly across to Pécuchet, who ranged them on the side on which they had become torpid. The people about the farm-house exhibited uneasiness. The mistress screamed, and a little girl began to cry. Bouvard loosened all the turkeys.
What vileness to be always thinking about prolonging one's existence! Life is good only on the condition that it is enjoyed. "Another piece?" "Yes, I will." "So will I." "Your health." "Yours." "And let us laugh at the rest of the world." They became elated. Bouvard announced that he wanted three cups of coffee, though he was not a military man.
With its big eyes, its drooping lip, and its air of a drunkard, it also annoyed Pécuchet. For a long time he had wished to get rid of it, but through carelessness put it off from day to day. One evening, in the middle of a dispute on the monad, Bouvard hit his big toe against St. Peter's thumb, and turning on him in a rage, exclaimed: "He plagues me, this jackanapes! Let us toss him out!"
Pécuchet caught one of them in the act, and exclaimed, while pushing him out by the shoulders: "Wretch! You are a disgrace to the village that gave you birth!" His presence inspired no respect. Moreover, he was plagued with the garden. All his time would not have sufficed to keep it in order. Bouvard was occupied with the farm. They took counsel and decided on this arrangement.
Bouvard got a stomachache, and Pécuchet fearful headaches. They lost confidence in Raspail, but took care to say nothing about it, fearing that they might lessen their own importance. They now exhibited great zeal about vaccine, learned how to bleed people over cabbage leaves, and even purchased a pair of lancets.
Pécuchet's throat at length emitted no sound save a rattling. "It is infernal, a life like this. I much prefer death. Adieu!" He snatched up the candlestick and rushed out, slamming the door behind him. Bouvard, plunged in darkness, found some difficulty in opening it. He ran after Pécuchet, and followed him up to the garret.
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