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Updated: June 13, 2025
And they went on with their work, Bouvard on the tips of his toes, trapping with his mattock, Pécuchet, with his back bent, digging with his pick. But the custom-house officer reappeared farther down, in an open space between the rocks, making repeated signals. They treated him with contempt. An oval body bulged out under the thinned soil, and sloped down, was on the point of slipping.
"And what are we to do if this should give rise to an outburst of erotic mania?" This would not have proved any impediment to Bouvard; but for fear of impostures and attempts to extort hush-money, it was better to put aside the project. They contented themselves with a collection of musical glasses, which they carried about with them to the different houses, so as to delight the children.
The peacocks' beaks, struck by the sun, reflected back the rays, and behind the railed gate, now freed from its boards, a perfectly flat landscape bounded the horizon. In the face of their guests' astonishment Bouvard and Pécuchet experienced a veritable delight. Madame Bordin admired the peacocks above all; but the tomb was not appreciated, nor the cot in flames, nor the wall in ruins.
The other son, M. Alexandre, declared his intention to have the entire matter decided by law, and even to question the legacy, if he could, requiring, first of all, to have everything sealed, and to have an inventory taken and a sequestrator appointed, etc. Bouvard got a bilious attack in consequence.
They set out on a race after each other; one giving the other the start. Pécuchet won the helmet. Bouvard congratulated him upon it, and received praises from his friend on the subject of the wrapper. Mélie arranged it with cords, in the fashion of a gown. They took turns about in receiving visits.
They all threatened to go, and Bouvard gave way to them. However, to convince them of the harmlessness of his beverage, he swallowed several bottles of it in their presence; then he got cramps, but concealed his pains under a playful exterior. He even got the mixture sent to his own residence.
Then he raised his forehead on one side, with swimming eyes, and trying to give a mystical expression to his face. The solemn voice of Pécuchet was heard in the corridor: "Don't be afraid. It is I." And he entered, his head covered with a helmet an iron pot with pointed ear-pieces. Bouvard did not quit the prie-dieu. The two others remained standing. A minute slipped away in glances of amazement.
As he was going out, Marescot's clerk and three men brought from Beljambe a large walnut table. "Monsieur" was much obliged to him for it. It had been conveyed in perfect order. Bouvard in this way learned about the new fashion of table-turning. He joked about it with the clerk.
Sometimes Bouvard walked in the rear, making a halt half-way up the hill to dry the sweat off his forehead. As they had confidence in nobody, they treated the animals themselves, giving them purgatives and clysters. Serious irregularities occurred in the household. The girl in the poultry-yard became enceinte.
"Don't talk like that!" said Pécuchet. Then they passed the guests in review. "The doctor seems to me a nice snob!" "Did you notice the sneer of M. Marescot before the portrait?" "What a low fellow the mayor is! When you dine in a house, hang it! you should show some respect towards the curios." "Madame Bordin!" said Bouvard. "Ah! that one's a schemer. Don't annoy me by talking about her."
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