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Updated: April 30, 2025
Oh, how dizzy-headed Selinda must have been! How skairt and how dretful her feelin's wuz! Sez I, "Dismount to once, Selinda Dagget." "No," sez she; "Bizer has placed me here, and here I will stay." "You don't know whether you will or not," sez I. "I believe you are a-fallin' off; and," sez I, "I'm 'fraid you'll git killed, Selinda; do git down!"
Josiah wuz mortified most to death. He'd wanted to show off the equality of his sect, and to have man's love and fidelity proved to be but wax wuz harrowin'. But he didn't stay mortified more'n a minute and a half on sech a business. And the Guard told us where Noah's Ark wuz. And Bizer and Josiah wuz all carried away with it.
This wuz in the children's room, and all the animals are reproduced life size, every one of 'em two and two, jest as they enter the Ark. We couldn't hardly tear our two pardners away, Selinda and I couldn't. Josiah said, "It wuz so beautiful and interestin'," and so Bizer said.
She can't cook like me, of course, but she duz well. Bizer and Selinda had never seen it, and all the way there Josiah seemed to be on the lookout to do sunthin' heroic and surprisin' to Bizer. And jest after we got there, we did see as strange a sight as I ever see. It wuz a Eastern Fakir, as they called him. He wuz performin' one of his strange sights right there before our face and eyes.
And wantin' to branch out and outdo Bizer, and make himself a hero, Josiah planked out a five-dollar bill. And then the man asked Josiah to look in his hat, and there inside the band he found the money, or so it seemed. And then he told me to look in my pocket, and there wuz five silver dollars to all appearance.
We didn't stay long here, though, for Bizer and Josiah said that the air wuz that bad they wuz chokin', and that they couldn't stan' it. And Selinda and I a-feelin' that chokin' a pardner wuz the last thing we wanted to undertake, we went through it at a pretty good jog, and anon we found ourselves in Turkey; and here I found the Turkeys had done first-rate.
And I glanced up the gray precipitous sides of that camel, and she looked up 'em, too, with fear and tremblin', but begun to gird her lions, figgeratively speakin', to obey Bizer and embark. She has always boasted to me and the other neighborin' wimmen that she has never disobeyed her husband once; and I sez to her cheerfully, "Wall, I have, and expect to agin, if the Lord spares my life."
Sez I, "Do you git down and pull down your bask, and wipe your nose and eyes; you look like fury, Selinda Dagget." "No," sez she; "Bizer wanted me to ride, and I shall die a-pleasin' him. I took vows of obedience onto me at the altar, and if I die here, Sister Allen, tell the female sistern at Jonesville that I died a-keepin' them vows."
And then Selinda and Bizer, and Josiah and me walked on into other parts of the buildin', and there we see a small-lookin' model of the Santa Maria, the Admiral's flag-ship, manned by men with the same clothes on as wuz wore by Columbuses mariners. That filled me with large emotions, and Selinda felt it too.
Wall, at the next place Josiah could not be restrained. It wuz the good old-fashioned New England house with gable ends, and here a good New England dinner wuz served. And sez Josiah, "I don't leave this house till I have a good square meal." Bizer felt jest so, and so Selinda and I jined 'em in a meal most as good as she and I got up to hum, and that is sayin' a great deal.
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