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Updated: June 2, 2025
Agonisingly, morbidly vain as he was, yet he was probably aware in the depths of his soul that there was nothing to justify his vanity, and that others might perhaps look down on him ... but I, a boy of nineteen, put no constraint on him; the dread of saying something stupid, inappropriate, did not oppress his ever-apprehensive heart in my presence.
He had heard her long before she came in sight, for he, too, had learned the hospital habit of classifying footsteps. He was horribly excited. He had never been so nervous before. He had made up a small speech, a sort of beginning, but he forgot it the moment he heard her, and she surprised him in the midst of trying, agonisingly, to remember it.
'Wherefore it is peculiarly well suited to goblinries and weirdnesses of all kinds; and plays in which ghosts figure are the favourite subjects. As the hall was bitterly cold, I waited only long enough to see one performance of which the following is an epitome: SCENE 1. A beautiful peasant girl and her aged mother, squatting together at home. Mother weeps violently, gesticulates agonisingly.
He waved his hand weakly to Razumihin to cut short the flow of warm and incoherent consolations he was addressing to his mother and sister, took them both by the hand and for a minute or two gazed from one to the other without speaking. His mother was alarmed by his expression. It revealed an emotion agonisingly poignant, and at the same time something immovable, almost insane.
Some ride on side-saddles, others, unused to any form of riding, prefer to get up astride, which they find difficult in the tight modern skirts. One German girl, after a frantic attempt, has to give it up, and sits wobbling on her saddle with her arms round the donkey-boy's neck, agonisingly appealing to him not to move!
How vividly familiar it was, and yet how agonisingly strange! "Where is Polyphemus?" she asked. "Dead," said I. "Oh-h! How did poor Polyphemus die?" "He was smitten by Destiny at the end of the last act of a farcical tragedy." The ghost of a "hou!" came from Carlotta. She composed herself immediately. "I often used to think of Polyphemus and Seer Marcous and Antoinette," she said, musingly.
They all clapped when she had finished somewhat breathlessly. It was obvious that the brave Bluestocking so far lacked the courage of her opinions as to be agonisingly embarrassed at this public expression of them. The Gentle Lady, who is the most tactful creature in existence, accordingly rose before anyone had time to speak, and the two women left the room together.
What happened after that remained always a confused blur in Magda's memory a series of pictures standing out against a dark background of haste and confusion, and whispered fears. Suddenly her mother gave a sharp little cry and her hands went up to her breast, while for a moment her eyes, dilated and frightened-looking, stared agonisingly ahead.
But the sharp noise that had succeeded it was nearer, was just outside the room the click of a turned knob, a footstep, a whisper, he could not tell; a hard lump gathered in the pit of his stomach, and his whole body ached in the moment that he strained agonisingly to hear.
I will go away by the back stairs . . . . But that would seem as though I took my hysterics too seriously. I ought to take it as a joke. . . ." He looked in the looking-glass, sat there for some time, and went back into the drawing-room. "Here I am," he said, smiling; he felt agonisingly ashamed, and he felt others were ashamed in his presence.
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