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Updated: June 29, 2025
And your hands?" "Warts." "I'll tell you what'll take them away. You get a pertater and go out under the full moon, cut the pertater in two, rub your warts with one half and say, 'One, two, three, warts, go away from me. Then rub them with the other half and say, 'One, two, three, four, warts, never trouble me more. Then bury the pertater and never tell a living soul where you buried it.
He hadn't been a sailor al'ays took to it 'cause he liked it, he said. And he tol' me a good deal about the goings-on of the earth. Like enough 't wa'n't so some on it but it was interestin'. He told me 't the earth was all red-hot once, and cooled off quicker on the outside like a hot pertater, I s'pose. You've heard about it?" He looked inquiringly at the artist. The artist nodded. "Yes."
Bean-pole stands up stiff, without no feelin's: don't look at 'er, nor bend over an' kiss 'er, nor nothin'. Mornin' glory don't git skeered, an' she peouts out a lot o' leaves an' tenderls an' begins to kile. Bean-pole takes a chaw o' terbakker an' looks off t'other eend o' the field t' see what the pertater crop 's goin' to be.
There's a a bug on it, ain't there?" "Why ah yes, Primmie. That charm is a very old scarab." "Hey? A what? I told Miss Martha it looked for all the world like a pertater bug." Galusha smiled. He held out the charm for her inspection. "I have had that for a long time," he said. "It is a ah souvenir of my first Egyptian expedition. The scarab is a rather rare example.
"What fer?" she exclaimed. "Ain't the spell lifted? I'm goin' to set the table in the kitchen, an' ef you wants any of that possum an' sweet pertater an' that apple-dumplin' an' hard sass, you got to walk in there to git em." For ten minutes Gordon Lee Surrender Jones lay flat on his back on the floor, trying to trace the course of human events during the last half-hour.
"My savin' soul! WHAT kind of a bug did you say 'twas?" "Why, I don't know that I did say. It is a representation of an Egyptian beetle, Ateuchus Sacer, you know. The ancient Egyptians worshiped the beetle and so they " "Wait! Wait a minute, Mr. Bangs. WHAT did you say they done to it?" "I said they worshiped it, made a god of it, you understand." "A god! Out of a a pertater bug! Go long, Mr.
Look here, 'tain't the clean pertater, is it, for a superintendent t' lay into a chap at Sunday School for things what he done outside? S'pose I float Tinribs's puddlin' tub down the creek by accident, with Doon's baby in it when I ain't thinkin', is it square fer him to nab me in Sunday School, an' whack me fer it, pretendin' all the time it's 'cause I stuck a mouse in the harmonium?
'Well, saints above! he says. 'Have the up-state delegates got to buckin' the ponies, too? Why ain't you back home killin' pertater bugs? You ought to be ashamed. "'But we wa'n't gamblin' me and my friend wa'n't. We was led in here by mistake. We was told that a feller named Kelly lived here and we're huntin' for a man of that name.
"I done it myself, sir, wi' these here two 'ands, Three thousand pound I counted over to him, an' five hundred more in banknotes, sir, while Miss Anthea sat by like one in a dream. Altogether there were five thousand pound as that blessed b'y dug up out o' the orchard done up all in a pertater sack, under this very i-dentical tree as you'm a set-tin' under Mr. Belloo sir.
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