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Updated: May 12, 2025
Yes, I think you have dealt with that point sufficiently; apart from that, how do you show the inferiority of Philosophy to your art? Si. I must first mention that no sponger was ever in love with Philosophy; but many philosophers are recorded to have set their hearts on Sponging, to which they still remain constant. Tyc. Philosophers caring to sponge? Names, please. Si. Names?
Tyc. How do they go? Si. For thee the cup stands ever full, Even as for me, whene'er it lists thee drink. Nestor I take to have been an exceedingly good and skilful sponger on royalty; Agamemnon was not his first patron; he had served his apprenticeship under Caeneus and Exadius. And but for Agamemnon's death I imagine he would never have relinquished the profession. Tyc.
Then at table one has to outshine other people, and show the difference between amateur and professional: is that to be done without thought and ingenuity? Tyc. No, indeed. Si. Or perhaps you fancy that any outsider who will take the trouble can tell a good dinner from a bad one.
And his last words bore no resemblance to those of the mighty Hector, who prostrated himself before Achilles and besought him to let his relations have his body; no, they were such as might be expected from one of his profession. Here they are: But of thy like I would have faced a score, And all the score my spear had given to death. Tyc.
Then in peace time, sponging seems to me as much better than philosophy as peace itself than war. Be kind enough to glance first at the scenes of peace. Tyc. I do not quite know what they are; but let us glance at them, by all means. Si. Well, you will let me describe as civil scenes the market, the courts, the wrestling-schools and gymnasia, the hunting field and the dining-room? Tyc. Certainly.
I find nothing that serves a more useful purpose in human life than eating and drinking; without them you cannot live. Tyc. That is true. Si. Moreover, sponging is not to be classed with beauty and strength, and so called a quality instead of an art? Tyc. No. Si. And, in the sphere of art, it does not denote the negative condition, of unskilfulness. That never brings its owner prosperity.
You know them well enough; you only play at not knowing because you regard it as a slur on their characters, instead of as the credit it is. Tyc. Simon, I solemnly assure you I cannot think where you will find your instances. Si. Honour bright? Then I conclude you never patronize their biographers, or you could not hesitate about my reference. Tyc. Seriously, I long to hear their names. Si.
Well then, Plato, the noblest of you all, came to Sicily with the same view; he did a few days' sponging, but found himself incompetent and had to leave. He went back to Athens, took considerable pains with himself, and then had another try, with exactly the same result, however. Plato's Sicilian disaster seems to me to bear comparison with that of Nicias. Tyc. Your authority for all this, pray?
If the courageous is so in virtue of his courage, the sensible sensible in virtue of his sense, then the sponger is a sponger in virtue of sponging. Take that away, and we shall be dealing with something else, and not with a sponger at all. Tyc. So his supplies will never run short? Si. Manifestly. So he is as free from that sort of pain as from others.
Do you teach rhetoric, then? I need not ask about philosophy; you have about as much to do with that as sin has. Si. Less, if possible. Do not imagine that you are enlightening me upon my failings. I acknowledge myself a sinner worse than you take me for. Tyc. Very well. But possibly you have abstained from these professions because nothing great is easy.
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