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Updated: May 31, 2025
Chase 'em! Vedius forever! At 'em boys! Mustard's the word! Make 'em run! Rescue Posis!" They clubbed us. They clubbed the horses, they clubbed the mules, they clubbed the bearers and their reliefs. They gave us no time to explain, and though I yelled out who I was and who was with me, though Hirnio and Tanno and Martius yelled similarly, their explanations were unheard in the hubbub or unheeded.
That started a round of talk on city usages, town etiquette and court gossip. Tanno, very naturally, did much of the talking, the rest mostly questioning and listening. He spoke at length of the Emperor, but of course more guardedly than while talking to me alone. When the tray with the first course was removed and while that with the second course was being brought in the talk ebbed.
"Well," said Muso, "I take it that any one of the dogs you saw run at Hedulio was affected by him just as was the bull this afternoon; each began by acting towards him as he would have towards any other man; each was cowed and tendered mild by the nearer sight of him. That is the way Hedulio affects all animals whatever." "Tell us some cases you have seen yourself," Tanno suggested.
"Never!" said Tanno, "and he never spoke of it to me. I'm Spanish, you know, by ancestry, and Spaniards are not Syrians or Egyptians. Horoscopes don't figure largely in Spanish life. I never bothered about horoscopes, I suppose. So I never mentioned horoscopes to Hedulio nor he to me." "Nor he to you of course," said Neponius Pomplio, "he is too modest." "In fact," said Naepor.
We conferred and he agreed to fall in behind Tanno's extra bearers, between them and my farmers, Tanno's intendant getting in front of the litter where he normally belonged. We got properly into line as arranged and plodded on down the road. Just outside of Vediamnum was, as Tanno had related, the village idiot, guarding his flock of goats.
I was nearer to being angry with Tanno than I had ever been in our lives. I comprehended why he, with all his superlative equipment of tact and intuition, had blundered; he could not but assume that circumstances were as they should have been rather than as they were; yet the blunder was, in a sense, unforgivable, and had created a social situation than which nothing could be more awkward.
When my major-domo came forward, Tanno queried: "How much water did you mix with the wine we've been drinking with our dinner?" The butler replied: "Two measures of water to one of wine." Tanno nodded to me, smiling. "You've mighty good wine, Caius," he said. "No one is more an expert than I and I should have conjectured three to two."
"Never saw him do it," Tanno declared. "Never heard of it from Nemestronia, and she'll talk 'leopard' by the hour, if you let her. Never suspected any such sorcery from Hedulio. How does he do it? Expound his methods." "Very simple," said Agathemer. "He calls to her or he walks in front of her.
Agathemer laughed out loud. "Delighted to oblige you," he bowed. Tanno looked at me. "Hedulio is blushing," he said, "this promises to be interesting. As king of the revels I forbid Hedulio from interrupting. Everybody drain a goblet. Boy, pour a goblet for Agathemer. Agathemer, take a good long drink, so you may start in good voice. And, boy, fill his goblet again when it gets low.
If you can imagine Commodus in an old weather-beaten, broad-brimmed hat of soft, undyed felt and a mean, cheap, shaggy poncho of undyed wool, and worse than the hat, that was the man on the mare. He was left-handed, too." "How did you know that?" I asked. "By the way he handled his reins, of course," said Tanno.
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