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Updated: May 29, 2025
The only thing Tom feared on any number of legs, from centipedes to men, was Stumpy. "Git out, ye imp of Satan!" she would say, raising her hand when he wandered too near; "or I'll smash ye!" The next instant she would be dodging behind the cart out of the way of Stumpy's lowered horns, with a scream as natural and as uncontrollable as that of a schoolgirl over a mouse.
It's playing it pretty low down on this yer baby to ring in fun on him that he ain't goin' to understand. And ef there's goin' to be any godfathers round, I'd like to see who's got any better rights than me." A silence followed Stumpy's speech. To the credit of all humorists be it said that the first man to acknowledge its justice was the satirist thus stopped of his fun.
Stumpy's band, with Pearse at their leader's side, had been driven back in the first attack to the rock itself; and now stood with their backs to it grimly waiting for the second onset. They had fought hitherto for her; she saw to it that they did not change their allegiance. Leaping up to the ledge behind the altar, she cried: "Stumpy! Thou'rt my man.
And ever from aloft came Stumpy's hail, reporting Milo's flare fast fading in the distance. "You can't do it! I knew it!" shouted Peters defiantly. "Peace, sheep!" answered Dolores, slapping him upon the mouth. She stood at the wheel, and no part of the vessel's situation escaped her. She had yet a trump to play: a hazardous one, truly, but the big one.
Aloft the topmasts bent like whips; Stumpy's voice came down in ever-increasing fear as his perch grew shakier; the great expanse of canvas, which should have been treble-reefed even in a floating ship going forward, tore at boom-tackles and earrings, tacks, and mast-hoops, shaking the vessel to the keel and filling her with cataclysmic thunder.
"Oh, come, Woody, don't get on your high horse," was Stumpy's response, as he swung back in the rocker he occupied. "You know I never could stand your high-toned ways." "I flatter myself I am a trifle above common people," returned Mr. Woodward, and it was plain to see where Duncan got his arrogant manner. "Oh, pshaw! don't make me tired," yawned Stumpy. "Come, let's to business."
I want you to know I didn't come on all the way from Chicago for nothing." "Are you hard up?" "Yes, I am. I want money, and I'm going to have it." "How about the two hundred dollars you stole last night?" Stumpy hesitated. "Well, if you want to know the truth, I lost the money," he said. For a moment I was staggered by John Stumpy's announcement. Was it possible he was telling the truth?
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