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Updated: May 18, 2025
"Alas," cried Scapegrace, "for now I am utterly undone! I have not a crown in the world, and how can I pay the deposit?" "Nay, neighbour, have a good heart," cried Stagman, drawing him into a corner; "long before the fortnight comes, we shall have sold these papers to some other man, who will pay the twenty crowns for thee, and give thee a hundred beside for thy pains.
He wore a coat of many colours, the pockets of which appeared to be stuffed with papers, bearing the like figures; he was always looking either up or down, and he moved to and fro continually, as if he could not sit still in one place for a moment. "Mr Scrip," said Stagman, "you must know here is a friend of mine who is presently sore bestead, and lacketh thine aid.
"Interpreter," answered Stagman, "is a stockbroker, who knoweth all the ups and downs of the place, the abodes of sellers and customers, and the booths where the best bargains are to be had. He hath his living by directing travellers through the Fair, and showing them where to buy and sell to good purpose. For a small consideration he will go along with us, and help us in this business."
"In good faith, neighbour STAGMAN," answered Scapegrace, "so long as this burden sticks to my back, I shall have no peace or rest, by night or by day, for I know not how long I may be left at large; and men say that, even now, one Gripeman hath a writ out against me, at the suit of Mr Legality, and that I shall be hauled away to prison incontinently.
"How now, old friend," said he to Stagman; "what wouldst thou have me to do?" "Only to show us through the Fair," said Stagman. "These, my friends, are new to the place, and they would fain know how to sell their wares to the best bidder. I pray thee, go with us, for thou knowest all the outs and ins of this Babel."
How Scapegrace, losing sight of Premium, was mocked at Vanity Fair. And as they journeyed, methought the two men had much conversation together. "Now, neighbour Scapegrace," said Stagman, "if thou wouldst sell this scrip of thine to advantage, we must betake ourselves to the great market at Vanity Fair, where all the fools in the world be gathered together, and not a few knaves besides.
Out upon thee for a crazed coxcomb! get thee gone, and trouble us no more in this matter." "Better is a bird in the hand than two in the bush," said Littlefaith; and so saying, he departed. But while Stagman was thus gibing Littlefaith for throwing away his wares, suddenly Scapegrace uttered a cry, and said "Mercy on us, what hath become of Mr Premium!
And even now there is a new road about to be begun, which I doubt not would make thee rich in brief space, if thou wert but a sharer therein." "Whither goeth this road?" asked Scapegrace. From the town of LITTLE-GO, by HAP-HAZARD, towards CENT-PER-CENT, and thence to the great city of ELDORADO," answered Stagman. "Thereafter, if the traffic answer, we contemplate a branch rail to UTOPIA."
Littlefaith spake of turning back, but being encouraged of Stagman, he took heart again, and went on. And as they gazed about them, and marvelled at the multitudes that were wandering up and down the rows, cheapening the wares, "Now are we in good-luck," cried Stagman; "for yonder, on the outskirts of the market, if I mistake not, is Mr Premium.
I pray thee, neighbour, take warning, and be advised." As he spake, behold a third man came towards them from behind, and shortly overtook them. "Whither so fast, neighbors?" said he. "Nay, Mr Littlefaith," said Stagman, "we be all journeying, as I take it, the same road. We are bound for Vanity Fair; and, from that little bundle which I see in thy hand, it should seen thou art on the same errand.
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