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Updated: June 19, 2025
"Let me see," answered Leopold; and after a moment's thought replied, "As Milton's Satan might have looked if Mammon had counselled him to make off with the crown-jewels instead of declaring war." "Ah, Poldie!" cried Helen, delighted at the stray glance of sunshine, and kissing him as she spoke, "you must really be better!
"Perhaps you think I am mad. Would to God I were! Sometimes I think I must be. But this I tell you is no madman's fancy. If you take it for that, you will bring me to the gallows. So, if you will see me hanged, " He sat down and folded his arms. "Hush! Poldie, hush!" cried Helen, in an agonized whisper. "I am only thinking what I can best do.
Poor Poldie was so easily led by any show of nobility anything that looked grand or self-sacrificing! Helen's only knowledge of guilt came from the pale image of it lifted above her horizon by the refraction of her sympathy. She did not know, perhaps never would understand the ghastly horror of conscious guilt, besides which there is no evil else.
If you need none, you are right to seek none, I dare say. But I need a God oh, I cannot tell how I need him, if he be to be found! and by the same reasoning I will give my life to the search for him. To the last I will go on seeking him, for if once I give in, and confess there is no God, I shall go mad mad, and perhaps kill somebody like poor Poldie. George, I have said my say.
They will think I have been " She checked herself. "And so you might be so might anyone," he cried, "so long as I am loose like the Rajah's man-eating horse. O God! It has come to this!" And he hid his face in his hands. "And then you see, my Poldie," Helen went on as calmly as she could, "they would come here and find us; and I don't know what might come next." "Yes, yes, Helen! Go, go directly.
If the frightful idea which, she did not doubt, had already suggested itself to Leopold, should now be encouraged, there was nothing but black madness before her! Her Poldie on the scaffold! God in heaven! Infinitely rather would she poison herself and him!
"Nonsense, dear Poldie! it was all fancy nothing more," she returned, in a voice almost as hollow as his; and the lightness of the words uttered in such a tone jarred dismayfully on her own ear. "Fancy!" he repeated; "I know what fancy is as well as any man or woman born: THAT was no fancy. She stood there, by the wardrobe in the same dress! her face as white as her dress! And listen!
"I am afraid you are going to be ill, Poldie; but, however ill you may feel, you must promise me to try and make as little noise as you can, and never cry out if you can help it. When I do like this," she went on, laying her finger on his lips, "you must be silent altogether."
Her hand was on his mouth instantly, and her sobs ceased, while the tears kept flowing down her white face. "Just think, Poldie," she said, in a voice which she seemed to have borrowed in her need from some one else, " just think a moment! What if there should be some help in the great wide universe somewhere, for as wide as it is a heart that feels for us both, as my heart feels for you, Poldie!
He would not in the least understand my poor Poldie, and would be too hard upon him." Since her brother's appearance, in fact, she had seen very little of her cousin, and this not merely because her presence was so much required in the sick-chamber, but because she was herself unwilling to meet him.
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