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Updated: July 14, 2025
He did all he could do in the way of recommendation; but Mr Pleggit had not forgotten my occasional impertinences or the battle of the bottles. I really believe that his ill-will against Timothy was one reason for purchasing the good will of Mr Cophagus; and we were very gently told by Mr Pleggit that he would have no occasion for our services.
But although Mr Pleggit could shake hands with Mr Cophagus for his fixtures and good will, yet as Timothy and I were not included in the good will, neither were we included among the fixtures, and Mr Cophagus could not, of course, interfere with Mr Pleggit's private arrangements.
Are we then to be surprised that this universal passion, undeterred by the smell of drugs and poisonous compounds, should enter into apothecaries' shops? But two streets two very short streets from our own was situated the single-fronted shop of Mr Ebenezer Pleggit. Thank heaven, it was only single-fronted; there, at least, we had the ascendancy over them.
"On reference back to the calendar, we observed that one J. Newland was transported for such an offence. Query?" "It must have been some other person; but this has arisen from the vindictive feeling of those two scoundrels who served under Pleggit," cried I. "How can you possibly tell, sir?" mildly observed one of the governors. "How can I tell, sir?" replied I, starting from my chair.
I desired Timothy to run for surgical aid as fast as he could, while I opened a vein; and in a few minutes he returned with our opponent, Mr Ebenezer Pleggit. We stripped Mr Cophagus, and proceeded to examine him. "Bad case this very bad case, indeed, Mr Newland dislocation of the os humeri severe contusion on the os frontis and I'm very much afraid there is some intercostal injury.
A hint of this escaping him when Mr Pleggit was attending him on the third day after his accident, the latter, who knew the value of the locale, also hinted that if Mr Cophagus was inclined so to do, that he would be most happy to enter into an arrangement with him. Self-interest will not only change friendship into enmity, in this rascally world, but also turn enmity into friendship.
Did Mr Ebenezer Pleggit meet Mr Phineas Cophagus in the street, the former immediately began to spit as if he had swallowed some of his own vile adulterated drugs; and in rejoinder, Mr Cophagus immediately raised the cane from his nose high above his forehead in so threatening an attitude as almost to warrant the other swearing the peace against him, muttering, "Ugly puppy knows nothing um patients die and so on."
Very sorry, very sorry, indeed, for my brother Cophagus." But Mr Pleggit did not appear to be sorry; on the contrary, he appeared to perform his surgical duties with the greatest glee. We reduced the dislocation, and then carried Mr Cophagus up to his bed. In an hour he was sensible, and Mr Pleggit took his departure, shaking hands with Mr Cophagus, and wishing him joy of his providential escape.
"Bad job, Japhet," said Mr Cophagus to me. "Very bad, indeed; sir; but it might have been worse." "Worse um no, nothing worse not possible." "Why, sir, you might have been killed." "Pooh! didn't mean that mean Pleggit rascal um kill me if he can shan't though soon get rid of him and so on." "You will not require his further attendance now that your shoulder is reduced.
Did Mr Ebenezer Pleggit meet Mr Phineas Cophagus in the street, the former immediately began to spit as if he had swallowed some of his own vile adulterated drugs; and in rejoinder, Mr Cophagus immediately raised the cane from his nose high above his forehead in so threatening an attitude as almost to warrant the other swearing the peace against him, muttering, "Ugly puppy knows nothing um patients die and so on."
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