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Just before dinner time I was called up; with my memory of many of the letters, and the assistance I had received from Timothy Ruddel, I felt very confident. "What letter's that, sir?" said Mr O'Gallagher. "You little blackguard, I'll dodge you; you think to escape, you?" Much to Mr O'Gallagher's surprise I said them all without one mistake. Instead of commendation I received abuse.
There was a long consultation, I found, after my departure: my mother, when my aunt had informed her of Mr O'Gallagher's conduct, wished to remove me instantly; my grandmother insisted upon it that there was not a word of truth in what I had said, and threatened that if I did not remain at that very school, she would leave Chatham, and take my aunt with her.
One by one were the boys summoned up to the throne of Mr O'Gallagher, and their pockets searched by Phil Mooney, who emptied them of their pyrotechnical contents, all of which were deposited on the dais of Mr O'Gallagher's throne, which, I have before observed, was composed of two empty claret cases turned upside down, surmounted by another, on which Mr O'Gallagher sat, all three covered with old green baize.
I looked up very innocently, but made no reply. Mr O'Gallagher's favourite expression, to wit, "that it would end in a blow-up," proved, as far as his school was concerned, literally true. He had not the means of procuring another suitable tenement in Chatham, and as soon as he had recovered from the injuries he had received, he quitted the town.
Down went sandwich after sandwich, until they had all disappeared. Oh! what joy was mine! I could have tossed up my cap and leapt in the air. Having received the bread and cheese, for he permitted me to have the latter on this occasion I went out and enjoyed my meal, delighted with Mr O'Gallagher's having fallen into the trap I had laid for him.
But I was a great gainer during the three or four months of quiet which reigned during Mr O'Gallagher's convalescence. Since I have been grown up, I have often thought, and am indeed confirmed in my opinion, that we lose rather than gain by being educated at too early an age.
I put little pancakes of cobblers' wax on Mr O'Gallagher's throne, and he had the pleasure of finding himself stuck fast by the breeches when he rose up to punish. I anointed the handle of the ferrule and rod with bird-lime; put dead cats under the claret cases, which composed his seat of authority, so that the smell would drive him distracted before he found it out.
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