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Updated: July 22, 2025
Lord, I wish our old cross Captain Crump would go over to the rebels, that Nosebag might get the troop! Lord, what can Bridoon be standing swinging on the bridge for? I'll be hanged if he a'nt hazy, as Nosebag says. Come, sir, as you and I belong to the service, we'll go put the rascal in mind of his duty.
You, sir, have served in the dragoons? Waverley was taken so much at unawares that he acquiesced. 'O, I knew it at once; I saw you were military from your air, and I was sure you could be none of the foot-wobblers, as my Nosebag calls them. What regiment, pray? Here was a delightful question.
Waverley, however, justly concluded that this good lady had the whole army-list by heart; and, to avoid detection by adhering to truth, answered 'Gardiner's dragoons, ma'am; but I have retired some time. 'Oh aye, those as won the race at the battle of Preston, as my Nosebag says. Pray, sir, were you there? 'I was so unfortunate, madam, he replied, 'as to witness that engagement.
Then she Captain'd and Butler'd him till he was almost mad with vexation and anxiety; and never was he more rejoiced in his life at the termination of a journey than when the arrival of the coach in London freed him from the attentions of Madam Nosebag.
Thank God, it goes in grooves! I say it again, thank God, the railways are trenches that drain our modern marsh, for you have but to avoid railways, even by five miles, and you can get more peace than would fill a nosebag. All the world is my garden since they built railways, and gave me leave to keep off them. Soon I had left them behind.
Nosebag, who, having been originally the helpmate of a pawnbroker, had found opportunity during the late unpleasant scenes in Scotland to trade a little in her old line, and so became the depositary of the more valuable part of the spoil of half the army.
So I climb into the nosebag without a peep. Yet would you believe it? when that wop came to cash in he shook the mothballs out of a roll of bills that looked like nine miles' worth of hall carpet. I had been acting very reserved heretofore, but when he made this flash he commenced to look like a very dear friend of mine who had been very kind to me in moments of adversity.
"Fastidious readers" might find Callum Beg and Mrs. Nosebag and the Cumberland peasants "coarse and disgusting," said the reviewer, who must have had in his imagination readers extremely superfine. He objected to the earlier chapters as uninteresting, and with justice to the passages where the author speaks in "the smart and flippant style of modern makers of paragraphs."
Nosebag addressed him with something which, if not an oath, sounded very like one, and commanded him to attend to his duty.
This reversal of the proper sequence of affairs would doubtless strike those around as an instance of setting the banquet before the horse. Without delay, then, to pursue the allusion to its appropriate end, I will return, as it may be said, to my nosebag.
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