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Updated: June 20, 2025
One can imagine the derision heaped on the landlubber who presumed to teach admirals their business, but there was no dodging the force of his point. Of course the mathematical precision of his paper victories depended on the enemy's being passive while the attack was carried out, but fundamentally he was right.
"I have not had occasion to use it for two or three weeks," answered the captain, getting out of bed; "but I know exactly where I put it;" and he opened a drawer in the sideboard, and commenced to overhaul the contents. "Set me down for a landlubber," he exclaimed, at length, "if it hasn't been stolen. It isn't here, at any rate."
By this time, the captain had guided his dauntless little vessel into slightly quieter waters, although she still pitched and tossed in a way that would have alarmed a "landlubber." Then came a new sound, louder than the noise of the pounding waves, deeper than the clang of the iron bell. "Boom! Boom! Boom, boom, boom!" An answering signal had broken the silence where the steady light shone.
"'Cause I made up my mind, this morning, that I'd be a sailor when I grow up, a mariner, you know, like Peterday, only I'd prefer to have both my legs." "You'd find it more convenient, perhaps." "You know all 'bout oceans, an' waves, and billows, don't you Uncle Porges?" "Well, I know a little." "An' are you ever sea-sick, like a 'landlubber?" "I used to be, but I got over it."
Had he not received expressions of satisfaction, indeed, from the most exclusive families of Hades with the very select series of picnics he had given at Charon's Glen Island? No wonder, then, that the queer-looking boat that met his gaze, moored in a shady nook on the dark side of the river, filled him with dismay. "Blow me for a landlubber if I like that!" he said, in a hardly audible whisper.
"Well, what d'ye say y' could paddle for, when y' couldn't?" "I can paddle. I paddled as long as I had anythin' but a sthick." "Oh, you dum landlubber!" smirked Glover. "What if I should order ye to the masthead?" "I wouldn't go," asseverated Sweeny. "I'll moind no man who isn't me suparior officer. I've moindin' enough to do in the arrmy. I wouldn't go, onless the liftinint towld me.
"I will say I don't get many thrills out of this being cooped downstairs when there are subs all around." "Downstairs!" quoted Coggins scornfully. "Don't let the Captain hear you talking about the 'downstairs' of his ship, you landlubber, you!" "Well, I don't care what you call it! It's downstairs to me anyhow! And whatever you call it, I don't want to sleep there." "Bosh!" said Coggins.
"Ha! How do you know that, you little landlubber?" he laughingly responded. To tell the truth, I had never seen any such insects before; but uncles who had lived in the tropics often spoke of them. And I was delighted to make the acquaintance of these tiny creatures that are peculiar to ships and to warm countries. Spring! Spring!
A part of it was how, at the right interval, they assisted the landlubber to step from gunwale to gangway, making him feel perfectly safe when he would have been perfectly helpless but for them. I had often watched our own bluejackets at the same thing. They did not grin not when you were looking at them. Nor did the British. Bluejackets are noted for their official politeness.
The jolly English tars, riding well upon the waves, sent many a broad grin through a spy-glass at Muncher Crappo tugging hard to get his nag into his gun-boat and then to get him out again, because his present set of shoes would not be worn out in England. Every sailor loves a horse, regarding him as a boat on legs, and therefore knowing more about him than any landlubber may feign to know.
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