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Updated: May 16, 2025
Eumolpus, concern'd at our grief, and particularly mindful of Gito's tenderness to him; "surely," says he, "y'are the greatest of fools, who have souls enrich'd with virtues, that may make ye happy, yet live a continu'd martyrdom, raising to your selves every day new occasions of grief; I, wherever I am, make my life as pleasant and free from trouble, as if I expected no more of it: If you'll imitate me, never let cares disturb your quiet.
Eumolpus reply'd, that could not be effected, for not only the difficulty of guiding so great a ship to a port, but a suspicion he wou'd necessarily have, that his friend cou'd not be so suddenly very ill, conspir'd against it: Then next perhaps, Lycas wou'd have a curiosity to visit his sick passenger: "Can you propose to escape by a means that will discover ye to him ye'd avoid?
"You see zee vonderful variety of ornizological specimens I could find here, ant zee herbareum, not to mention zee magnificent Amblypodia eumolpus ant ozer bootterflies ach!-a leetle mor' feesh if you please. Zanks. My frond, it is a great sacrifice, but I vill go avay viz you, for I could not joostify myself if I forzook you, ant I cannot ask you to remain vile your life is in dancher."
A farce is soon over; but the Eleusinia reached from the mythic Eumolpus to Theodosius the Great, nearly two thousand years. Think you that all Athens, every fifth year, for more than sixty generations, went to Eleusis to witness and take part in a sham? But, reader, let us go to Eleusis, and see, for ourselves, this great festival.
When Eumolpus had gone thus far in his story, the people that were walking there, began to fling stones at him: But he, conscious of his merit, cover'd his head, and took up his heels: I, fearing they wou'd have taken me for a poet too, made after him: When we were out of stone shot of the enemy, "I beseech you, sir," said I, "what will you do with this disease of yours?
"Nor Heaven nor man," cry'd Eumolpus, "cou'd suffer ye make so ill an end; rather pursue this advice: My slave, as you may imagine by his rasor, is a piece of a barber; let him shave not only your heads, but, as a mark of greater punishment, your eye-brows too, and Ill finish your disguise with an inscription on your foreheads, that you may appear as slaves branded for some extraordinary villany: Thus the same letters will at once divert their suspicion, and conceal your countenance under the mask of punishment."
But you shall feel fo't: I'll soon make ye know who rules here." "What, you rascal," crys Eumolpus, "do you threat too?"
"Happy the woman," said Eumolpus, "that's blest with such a son!
The ædile paused, and proclaimed aloud that as Niger's wound disabled him from again entering the arena, Lydon was to be the successor to the slaughtered Nepimus and the new combatant of Eumolpus. "Yet, Lydon," added he, "if thou wouldst decline the combat with one so brave and tried, thou mayst have full liberty to do so. Eumolpus is not the antagonist that was originally decreed for thee.
Upon which those who had receiv't us most nobly, resolv'd to seize us, and lustly take their revenge; but Chrysis, privy to all stratagems, gave me notice of their designs; the frightful news so struck me, that I made off with Gito immediately, and left Eumolpus to the mercy of his enemies; and in a few days we heard the Crotonians raging, that that old rascal shou'd live so long at such a sumptuous rate on the publick charge, sacrific'd him the Massilian way.
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