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Updated: June 21, 2025
The chaps at the West Diddlesex all admired it hugely, except that snarling Scotchman M'Whirter, fourth clerk, out of envy because I did not think much of a great yellow stone, named a carum-gorum, or some such thing, which he had in a snuff-mull, as he called it, all except M'Whirter, I say, were delighted with it; and Abednego himself, who ought to know, as his father was in the line, told me the jewel was worth at least ten poundsh, and that his governor would give me as much for it.
Smithers, how she should dispose of this sum; and as the Independent West Diddlesex was just then established, the money was placed in an annuity in that office, where I procured a clerkship. You may suppose me a very hardened criminal, because I have ordered clothes of Mr.
"Good heavens, sir! and do you mean that you, a clerk in the West Diddlesex Insurance Office, applied to by a respectable lady as to the manner in which she should invest property, never spoke to her about the Company which you have the honour to serve? Do you mean, sir, that you, knowing there was a bonus of five per cent. for yourself upon shares taken, did not press Mrs. Hoggarty to join us?"
"But I believe, without any sort of doubt, that the West Diddlesex Association offers the best security that you can expect for your capital, and, at the same time, the highest interest you can anywhere procure. "The subscribed and bona fide capital is FIVE MILLIONS STERLING. "The body of directors you know.
"'Yes, my Lady, says I; 'but he's at the office the West Diddlesex Fire and Life Office, Cornhill. "'Charles, get out the things, says the gentleman, quite solemn. "'Yes, my Lord, says Charles; and brings me out the haunch in a newspaper, and on the chany dish as you see it, and the two baskets of fruit besides. "'Have the kindness, madam, says my Lord, 'to take these things to Mr.
Our shares rose to a premium; our Director, his lady, and daughter were presented at Court; and the great West Diddlesex Association bid fair to be the first Assurance Office in the kingdom. A very short time after my visit to Fulham, my dear aunt wrote to me to say that she had consulted with her attorneys, Messrs.
Abednego was the other director, and we have already seen what became of him. "Why, as there is no danger from the West Diddlesex," suggested Mr. Hoskins, senior, "should you not now endeavour to make an arrangement with your creditors; and who can make a better bargain with them than pretty Mrs. Titmarsh here, whose sweet eyes would soften the hardest-hearted tailor or milliner that ever lived?"
"'Commission signed by the Lord Lieutenant of the County of Diddlesex. "'JAMES AUGUSTUS DE LA PLUCHE, Esquire, to be Deputy Lieutenant." "'North Diddlesex Regiment of Yeomanry Cavalry. "'James Augustus de la Pluche, Esquire, to be Captain, vice Blowhard, promoted." "And his it so? Ham I indeed a landed propriator a Deppaty Leftnant a Capting?
Tidd invested his money did not pay 2d. in the pound; and that was the largest dividend paid by any of them. As for ours ah! there was a pretty scene as I was brought from the Fleet to the Bankruptcy Court, to give my testimony as late head clerk and accountant of the West Diddlesex Association.
What a lucky thing it is that she did not give me the money, as I hoped she would! Had I not had the pin had I even taken it to any other person but Mr. Polonius, Lady Drum would never have noticed me; had Lady Drum never noticed me, Mr. Brough never would, and I never should have been third clerk of the West Diddlesex."
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