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Updated: May 2, 2025
"If Jethro had been real tactful," said the Honorable Alvy, sinking down again, "he'd have introduced me as the next governor of the state. Everybody knows I want to be governor, everybody knows I've got twenty thousand dollars in the bank to pay for that privilege. Everybody knows I'm going to be governor if Jethro says so."
But if it don't miss fire," and the Honorable Alva leaned over and put his hand on Jethro's knee, "if it don't miss fire, I get the nomination. Is that right?" "Y-you've guessed it, Alvy." "That's all I want to know," declared the Honorable Alva; "when you say that much, you never go back on it. And, you can go ahead and give the orders, Jethro. I have to see that the boys get the tickets.
Hain't the first time you've b'en a patron, Alvy." "Jethro," said Mr. Hopkins, solemnly, putting up his money, "I'm much obliged to you. I'm free to say I'd never have thought of it. If you ain't the all-firedest smartest man in America to-day, I don't except any, even General Grant, then I ain't the next governor of this state."
"Who be you thinkin' of for next governor, Jethro?" queries Rias Richardson, timidly. "They say Alvy Hopkins of Gosport is willin' to pay for it," said Chester Perkins, sarcastically. Chester; we fear, is a born agitator, fated to remain always in opposition. He is still a Democrat, and Jethro, as is well known, has extended the mortgage so as to include Chester's farm.
"W-what did you say her name was, Alvy?" "I guess her name's Cassandra," said the Honorable Alva. "C-Cassandry?" "Well, you see," he explained a trifle apologetically, "she's kind of taken some matters in her own hands, my gal. Didn't like Lily, and it didn't seem to fit her anyway, so she called herself Cassandra. Read it in a book.
Whereupon he lapsed into an even more expressive silence, his face still glowing. "Er Alvy," said Jethro presently, "what's the name of your gal?" "Well," said Mr. Hopkins, "I guess you've got me. We did christen her Lily, but she didn't turn out exactly Lily. She ain't the type," said Mr. Hopkins, slowly, not without a note of regret, and lapsed into silence.
Must have hurried some they tell me he was settin' way down in front alongside of Alvy Hopkins's gal, and when Airley hollered out she screeched and clutched on to Al, and Al said somethin' he hadn't ought to and tore off one of them pink gew-gaws she was covered with. He was the maddest man I ever see. Some of the club was crowded inside, behind the seats, standin' up to see the show.
Speaker," said he, amidst a general tittering from the front seats. Speaker, I hain't ag'in' 'Uncle Tom's Cabin. It's a good play, and it's done an almighty lot of good. And I hain't sayin' nothin' ag'in' Alvy Hopkins nor his munificence. But I do know there's a sight of little bills on that desk that won't be passed if we don't set to-morrow night little bills that are big bills for us farmers.
Speaker," said he, amidst a general tittering from the front seats. Speaker, I hain't ag'in' 'Uncle Tom's Cabin. It's a good play, and it's done an almighty lot of good. And I hain't sayin' nothin' ag'in' Alvy Hopkins nor his munificence. But I do know there's a sight of little bills on that desk that won't be passed if we don't set to-morrow night little bills that are big bills for us farmers.
For a few moments the Honorable Alva appeared to be groping, too, and then his face began to crease into a smile of comprehension. "By Godfrey, Jethro, but you are smart." he exclaimed, with involuntary tribute; "you mean buy up the theatre?" "C-callate you'll find it's bought up." "You mean pay for it?" said Mr. Hopkins. "You've guessed it, Alvy, you've guessed it." Mr.
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