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Updated: May 31, 2025
We're more than safe now. Then he bangs the butt of his gun for a gavel and says: 'By virtue of the authority vested in me by my own right hand and the help of Peachey, I declare myself Grand-Master of all Freemasonry in Kafiristan in this the Mother Lodge o' the country, and King of Kafiristan equally with Peachey! At that he puts on his crown and I puts on mine I was doing Senior Warden and we opens the Lodge in most ample form.
That was in a most mountaineous country, and our camels couldnt go along any more because of the mountains. They were tall and black, and coming home I saw them fight like wild goats there are lots of goats in Kafiristan. And these mountains, they never keep still, no more than the goats. Always fighting they are, and dont let you sleep at night.
"As big a map as you have got, even if it's all blank where Kafiristan is, and any books you've got. We can read, though we aren't very educated." I uncased the big thirty-two-miles-to-the-inch map of India and two smaller Frontier maps, hauled down volume INF-KAN of the "Encyclopaedia Britannica," and the men consulted them. "See here!" said Dravot, his thumb on the map.
They prodded him behind like an ox. Damn your eyes! says the King. Dyou suppose I cant die like a gentleman? He turns to Peachey Peachey that was crying like a child. Ive brought you to this, Peachey, says he. Brought you out of your happy life to be killed in Kafiristan, where you was late Commander-in-Chief of the Emperors forces.
Always fighting they are, and don't let you sleep at night." "Take some more whiskey," I said, very slowly. "What did you and Daniel Dravot do when the camels could go no further because of the rough roads that led into Kafiristan?" "What did which do? There was a party called Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan that was with Dravot. Shall I tell you about him? He died out there in the cold.
Another Englishman, in "Beyond the Pale," thought that he understood the heart of India, and here is his epitaph: "He took too deep an interest in native life, but he will never do so again." Dravot could play king and even god in Kafiristan, but when he exposed himself ignorantly to an old racial superstition he met instant and inevitable destruction. Characters.
He shaved mine, too, and made me wear outrageous things to look like a heathen. That was in a most mountaineous country, and our camels couldn't go along any more because of the mountains. They were tall and black, and coming home I saw them fight like wild goats there are lots of goats in Kafiristan. And these mountains, they never keep still, no more than the goats.
"At the levee which was held that night on the hillside with big bonfires, Dravot gives out that him and me were Gods and sons of Alexander, and Passed Grand Masters in the Craft, and was come to make Kafiristan a country where every man should eat in peace and drink in quiet, and specially obey us.
He leaped on the back of his beast as it knelt, and, turning round to me, cried, "Come thou also, Sahib, a little along the road, and I will sell thee a charm an amulet that shall make thee King of Kafiristan." Then the light broke upon me, and I followed the two camels out of the Serai till we reached open road and the priest halted. "What d' you think o' that?" said he in English.
The morning sun, that had long been paling the lamps, struck the red beard and blind sunken eyes; struck, too, a heavy circlet of gold studded with raw turquoises, that Carnehan placed tenderly on the battered temples. "You be'old now," said Carnehan, "the Emperor in his 'abit as he lived the King of Kafiristan with his crown upon his head. Poor old Daniel that was a monarch once!"
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