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Updated: May 31, 2025
"As big a map as you have got, even if it's all blank where Kafiristan is, and any books you've got. We can read, though we aren't very educated." I uncased the big thirty-two-miles-to-the-inch map of India, and two smaller Frontier maps, hauled down volume INF-KAN of the Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the men consulted them. "See here!" said Dravot, his thumb on the map.
Take some more whiskey, I said, very slowly. What did you and Daniel Dravot do when the camels could go no further because of the rough roads that led into Kafiristan? What did which do? There was a party called Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan that was with Dravot. Shall I tell you about him? He died out there in the cold.
Well hitch on to a caravan at Peshawar till we get to Jagdallak, and then well see if we can get donkeys for our camels, and strike into Kafiristan. Whirligigs for the Amir, O Lor! Put your hand under the camel-bags and tell me what you feel. I felt the butt of a Martini, and another and another. Twenty of em, said Dravot, placidly.
They call it Kafiristan. By my reckoning it's the top right-hand corner of Afghanistan, not more than three hundred miles from Peshawar. They have two and thirty heathen idols there, and we'll be the thirty-third and fourth. It's a mountaineous country, the women of those parts are very beautiful." "But that is provided against in the Contrack," said Carnehan. "Neither Women nor Liqu-or, Daniel."
The morning sun that had long been paling the lamps struck the red beard and blind sunken eyes; struck, too, a heavy circlet of gold studded with raw turquoises, that Carnehan placed tenderly on the battered temples. You behold now, said Carnehan, the Emperor in his habit as he lived the King of Kafiristan with his crown upon his head. Poor old Daniel that was a monarch once!
He leaped on the back of his beast as it knelt, and, turning round to me, cried, "Come thou also, Sahib, a little along the road, and I will sell thee a charm an amulet that shall make thee King of Kafiristan." Then the light broke upon me, and I followed the two camels out of the Serai till we reached open road and the priest halted. "What d' you think o' that?" said he in English.
They call it Kafiristan. By my reckoning it's the top right-hand corner of Afghanistan, not more than three hundred miles from Peshawur. They have two and thirty heathen idols there, and we'll be the thirty-third. It's a mountaineous country, and the women of those parts are very beautiful." "But that is provided against in the Contrack," said Carnehan. "Neither Women nor Liquor, Daniel."
"At the levee which was held that night on the hillside with big bonfires, Dravot gives out that him and me were Gods and sons of Alexander, and Passed Grand Masters in the Craft, and was come to make Kafiristan a country where every man should eat in peace and drink in quiet, and specially obey us.
He leaped on the back of his beast as it knelt, and turning round to me, cried: Come thou also, Sahib, a little along the road, and I will sell thee a charm an amulet that shall make thee King of Kafiristan. Then the light broke upon me, and I followed the two camels out of the Serai till we reached open road and the priest halted.
"You went as far as Jagdallak with that caravan," I said, at a venture, "after you had lit those fires. To Jagdallak, where you turned off to try to get into Kafiristan." "No, we didn't, neither. What are you talking about? We turned off before Jagdallak, because we heard the roads was good. But they wasn't good enough for our two camels mine and Dravot's.
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