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Updated: June 16, 2025
"Among the aristocracy," thought Mrs. Chump, "it's just the male that hangs his head, and the female struts and is sprightly." Chump owned to the intoxication of gliding smoothly gliding on the rapids. The breakfast was coming to an end, when Braintop's name was sent in to Mrs. Chump.
Chump; and immediately discharged an exclamatory narrative of her recent troubles, and the breach between herself and Brookfield, at Braintop's ears. This done, she told him that he was there to write the reply to the letters of the ladies, in her name. "Begin," she said. "Ye've got head enough to guess my feelin's. I'm invited, and I won't go till I'm fetched. But don't say that.
Braintop's next effort was, "Ladies." "But they don't behave to me like ladus; and it's against my conscience to call 'em!" said Mrs. Chump, with resolution. Braintop wrote down "Women," in the very irony of disgust. "And avery one of 'em unmarred garls!" exclaimed Mrs. Chump, throwing up her hands. "Mr. Braintop! Mr. Braintop! ye're next to an ejut!" Braintop threw dawn the pen.
On from dream to dream the music carried her, and dull fell the first words of the farce. Mr. Pole said, "Now, then!" and began to chuckle. As the farce proceeded, he grew more serious, repeating to Emilia, quite anxiously: "I wonder whether that boy Braintop's enjoying it."
Braintop's next effort was, "Ladies." "But they don't behave to me like ladus; and it's against my conscience to call 'em!" said Mrs. Chump, with resolution. Braintop wrote down "Women," in the very irony of disgust. "And avery one of 'em unmarred garls!" exclaimed Mrs. Chump, throwing up her hands. "Mr. Braintop! Mr. Braintop! ye're next to an ejut!" Braintop threw dawn the pen.
That little action of disgust showed her that he had not lost spirit, albeit condemned to serve amongst an inferior race, promoters of discord. Just as the third play was opening, some commotion was seen in the pit, rising from near Braintop's vacated seat; and presently a thing that shone flashing to the lights, came on from hand to hand, each hand signalling subsequently toward Mr. Pole's box.
She was only to be restrained from peeping, by Braintop's petulant "Pray, ma'am!" which sent her bouncing back to her chair, with a face upon one occasion too solemn for Braintop's gravity. He had written himself into excellent spirits; and happening to look up as Mrs.
Girls ought to learn to laugh as well as boys. I'll ring for Braintop." He rang the bell, and bade Emilia be careful to remind him that he wanted Braintop's address; for Braintop was useful. It appeared that there were farces at several of the theatres.
"What was it?" said she; and perceiving many faces beneath her red among handkerchiefs, she was eager to see the thing that the unhappy Braintop had speedily secreted. "Come, sir, let's see it!" quoth Mr. Pole, itching for a fresh laugh; and in spite of Braintop's protest, and in defiance of his burning blush, he compelled the wretched youth to draw it forth, and be manifestly convicted of vanity.
And why it was so frightful as to be tragic, you will know presently. He thought of the arrival of Braintop, freighted with brandy, as the only light in the mist, and breathing heavily from his nose, almost snorting the air he took in from a widened mouth, he sat and tried to listen to her words as well as for Braintop's feet.
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