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Updated: June 12, 2025
"So as not to rouse the wireworms," I nodded. "Yes go on." "The conditions of the game are governed by the necessity of paying due respect to the vegetable hazards. There is only one hole on the course." "If you remember," I said, "I told you long ago that that was all there was room for, but you would persist in making it nine." "The hole," said James, "is the water-butt.
"Well, one day I was having a smoke out at the back, when I heard her coming, and I pulled out the stem in a hurry and put the bowl behind the water-butt and the stem under the house. Mother was coming round for a dipper of water. I got out of her way quick, for I hadn't time to look innocent; but the bowl of the pipe was hot and she got a whiff of it.
A large yard enclosed by buildings was chosen for the meeting. The difficulty was to elevate the speaker above the heads of the assembly. In one corner of the yard was a water-butt. An ingenious elector got a board, placed it on the top of the butt which was full of water and persuaded me to make this my rostrum.
This was very spacious, and, of course, quite dry, and contained all they wished to put in. Ready also took care, by degrees, to fill the large water-butt full of water, and had fixed into the bottom a spigot for drawing the water off. "Well, Mr. Seagrave," said Ready on the Saturday, "we have done a good many hard weeks' work lately, but this is the last of them.
It was at Montrouge, on the road that runs around the city. "A small chalet, with garden," said the advertisement, printed on a placard which gave an almost exact idea of the dimensions of the property. The papers were new and of rustic design, the paint perfectly fresh; a water-butt planted beside a vine-clad arbor played the part of a pond.
It had been a water-butt, which her ingenious husband had cut half-way down the middle, then half-way across, and in the angle thus formed fixed a bottom, which, together with the back, he padded with tow, and covered the whole with a mantle of glaring bed-curtain chintz, whose pattern alternated in stripes of sky-blue and china roses, with broken fragments of rainbow between.
Now, alas! it was absolutely finished. Oh, dear no! 'Gracious me! cried a brass manufacturer, 'there's no handle on the door, and he put one on. An ironmonger added a scraper, and an old lady ran up with a door-mat. Carpenters arrived with a water-butt, and the painters insisted on painting it. Finished at last! 'Finished!
This man did not care for it, and the other did not care for it; and even one who had a small piece of ground, and kept a donkey and water-butt on wheels for the very purpose, shook his head. He always fetched water for folk in the summer when it was dry, never fetched none at that time of year he could not do it.
Mrs. Peerybingle, going out into the raw twilight, and clicking over the wet stones in a pair of pattens that worked innumerable rough impressions of the first proposition in Euclid all about the yard Mrs. Peerybingle filled the kettle at the water-butt.
He put his hand on it, on its wetness, ready to drop over should his wife come forward. But she only threw the contents of her pail on the garden and retired again. She might have seen him had she looked. He remained standing where he was, listening to the trickle of rain in the water-butt. The hollow countryside lay beyond him.
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