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Updated: June 25, 2025
They exerted themselves quite strenuously to instil into him the fundamental principles of life the correct method of tying a dress tie; the intricate ritual which governs such things as visiting-cards and asparagus; the exact limit of the domains of brown boots and dinner-jackets; the utter criminality of dickeys, turn-down collars, and side-whiskers; and the superiority of dialogue to monologue as a concomitant to afternoon tea.
I told him you couldn't see him, but he wouldn't take no. Says he was recommended to you by a former client." Following the word, there burst into Average Jones' private sanctum a gross old man, silk-hatted and bediamonded, whose side-whiskers bristled whitely with perturbed self-importance. In his hand was a patchy bundle. "They tried to stop me!" he sputtered. "Me!
Standing next the Prince was a brown-faced, wrinkled man with silver spectacles and fluffy, dingy-grey side-whiskers, who regarded Bert with a peculiar and disconcerting attention. The company sat after ceremonies Bert could not understand. At the other end of the table was the bird-faced officer Bert had dispossessed, still looking hostile and whispering about Bert to his neighbour.
At last Mendelssohn's organ sonatas were reached and with them a call organists, like pastors, have calls to a fashionable church. The salary was fair and Mr. Pinton grew side-whiskers. He heard Paderewski play Chopin, and became a crazy lover of the piano. He hired a small upright and studied finger exercises.
His rather showy side-whiskers seemed now like flags or ornaments of a better day that was gone. His only consolation through it all was that Frank had actually got out of his relationship with the Third National Bank without owing it a single dollar.
Then, without losing a moment, he refers to his "talents," "charms," and "physique." Who is this handsome fellow with such neat side-whiskers, whose finely cut features suggest an intaglio head, and who has just placed a lawyer's heavy portfolio upon the sofa?
We also showed a dreadfully barristerish barrister, wig, side-whiskers, teeth, a horribly life-like portrait of all existing barristers, talking at a table, and beneath, this legend: "A Four Hours' Speech on Tono-Bungay Lozenges, and as fresh as when he began." Then brought in regiments of school-teachers, revivalist ministers, politicians and the like.
Then, without losing a moment, he refers to his "talents," "charms," and "physique." Who is this handsome fellow with such neat side-whiskers, whose finely cut features suggest an intaglio head, and who has just placed a lawyer's heavy portfolio upon the sofa?
With him were four thoroughly respectable men of business, two of whom wore side-whiskers and the other two of whom wore white bow-ties. "Fine business, Mr.
Little as I had seen of him by the shifting light of the lantern on the links, I had no difficulty in recognizing him for the same. He had a long and sallow countenance, surrounded by a long red beard and side-whiskers. His broken nose and high cheek-bones gave him somewhat the air of a Kalmuck, and his light eyes shone with the excitement of a high fever.
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