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'Presintly the Arm'rer Sargint comes in stiffin' an' crackin' on, not pleased wid any wan, bekaze the Martini Henri bein' new to the rig'mint in those days we used to play the mischief wid her arrangements. 'Twas a long time before I cud get out av the way av thryin' to pull back the back-sight an' turnin' her over afther firin' as if she was a Snider.
Peg Barney that cleared out the Blue Lights' Jubilee meeting wid the cook-room mop last year? 'Thin I knew ut was a draf of the ould rig'mint, an' I was conshumed wid sorrow for the bhoy that was in charge. We was harrd scrapin's at any time. Did I iver tell you how Horker Kelley went into clink nakid as Phoebus Apollonius, wid the shirts av the Corp'ril an' file undher his arrum?
"Now I knew that the Colonel was no fool, any more than me, for I was hild the smartest man in the rig'mint, an' the Colonel was the best orf'cer commandin' in Asia; so fwhat he said an' I said was a mortial truth. We knew that the Capt'n was bad, but, for reasons which I have already oblitherated, I knew more than me Colonel.
"Wan day, bein' mortial idle, or they wud never ha' thried ut, the rig'mint gave amsure theatricals orf'cers an' orfcers' ladies. You've seen the likes time an' again, sorr, an' poor fun 'tis for them that sit in the back row an' stamp wid their boots for the honor av the rig'mint. I was told off for to shif' the scenes, haulin' up this an' draggin' down that.
"They was gettin' the rig'mints away wan by wan, the campaign bein' inded, but as ushuil they was behavin' as if niver a rig'mint had been moved before in the mem'ry av man. Now, fwhy is that, Sorr? There's fightin' in an' out nine months av the twelve somewhere in the Army. There has been for years an' years an' years, an' I wud ha' thought they'd begin to get the hang av providin' for throops.
He'll get tired av findin' our kit foul an' our 'coutrements onproperly kep'." "We will not let him go," sez they. "Thin take him," sez I, "an' a dashed poor yield you will get for your throuble." "Is he not misconductin' himself wid Slimmy's wife?" sez another. "She's common to the rig'mint," sez I. "Fwhat has made ye this partic'lar on a suddint?"
Almost before Ortheris had deftly thrown all the rifles of the Guard on Mulvaney's bedstead, the Irishman's voice was uplifted as that of one in the middle of a story, and, turning to me, he said 'In barricks or out of it, as you say, Sorr, an Oirish rig'mint is the divil an' more. 'Tis only fit for a young man wid eddicated fisteses.
Thin, right smash into our rear, came fwhat was left av the Jock Elliotts wid four pipers an' not half a kilt among thim, playin' for the dear life, an' swingin' their rumps like buck rabbits, an' a native rig'mint shrieking blue murther. Ye niver heard the like. There was men cryin' like women that did an' faith I do not blame thim.
Almost before Ortheris had deftly thrown all the rifles of the Guard on Mulvaney's bedstead, the Irishman's voice was uplifted as that of one in the middle of a story, and, turning to me, he said "In barricks or out of it, as you say, sorr, an Oirish rig'mint is the divil an' more. 'Tis only fit for a young man wid eddicated fistesses.
"'Faith, thinks I, 'that's Honor an' Glory, for 'twas Lift'nint Brazenose did that job. 'I'm wid ye, sorr, sez I, 'if I'm av use. They shud niver ha' sent you down wid the draf'. Savin' your presince, sorr, I sez, 'tis only Lift'nint Hackerston in the Ould Rig'mint can manage a Home draf'.
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