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It was like going back into another world a purer and a truer world than the one in which he lived now. And in these hours of retrospect, he came to clearer and truer conclusions respecting Lettice's character and course of action than he had been able to do before he was himself smitten by the hand of Fate. Lettice was interpreted to him by Nan.
In the retrospect, say they, of this long and arduous journey, we have this testimony unitedly to bear, that the Arm of divine love has been underneath to support and help us; and although we have had many deep baptisms to pass through, especially when we beheld how in many places the fields are white unto harvest, and were fully sensible of our own inability to labor therein, yet He who, we trust, sent us forth was often pleased to raise us from the depth of discouragement, to rejoice in him our Saviour.
The meal might have been one of ten courses, it occupied so long; it provoked so much mirth, such a rippling stream of reminiscence; finally, such a sweetly solemn retrospect of the sorrows and mercies and triumphs of the campaign they had shared together. This latter feeling soon dominated all others.
After running till he was fairly out of the sights and sounds that had produced in him so much terror, he sat down, and took a retrospect of what had occurred to him during the preceding three months; but he could come to no conclusion that could reconcile all the strange things he had experienced with any supposition based on natural powers.
There is here a reason for our retrospect to halt, for at some eventful period, when the day was about three or four hours long, the earth must have been in a condition of a very critical kind. It is well known that fearful accidents occasionally happen where large grindstones are being driven at a high speed.
His last days must have been the reverse of agreeable in their retrospect; for it must constantly have been forced upon his mind that he had been made the chief instrument in the work of fastening upon the country he loved the most odious of the many despotic governments it has known, a government that confesses its inability to stand against the "paper shot" of journalists, and which has shackled the press after the fashion of Austrian and Russian dynasties; and all this had taken place, as he must have seen in his retirement, as the consequence of his having mistaken the voice of a party for the voice of France.
Stuck in a room 800 feet from the ground with walls of glass that allowed observation of the whole island of Daem, which I assumed to be the only civilization in the world, while great events unfolded around me, of which I was supposed to be the primary actor, was very disconcerting, though I find in retrospect that fate worked so mysteriously in my situation that it is quite puzzling to think about, meaning, of course, my relationship with the doom of humanity as preventer and provoker, as savior and condemner.
This journey occupied them about two weeks, and on returning home John Yeardley makes the following animating remark: The retrospect of this journey in connexion with that of Wales afforded a sweet feeling of peace. We were often low and discouraged, but help was mercifully extended in the time of need.
In taking a retrospect of what they had done up to this time, they write thus to their Friends in England:
But as I look back upon those days they seem to have lost succession, to be fused together, as it were, into one indeterminable period by the intense pressure of emotion; unsatisfied emotion, and the state of physical and mental disorganization set up by it is in the retrospect not a little terrifying.
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