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Updated: June 10, 2025


Bulloch can be considered as the creator of civil law in Penguinia. "Bulloch, my son," said old Mael, "we ought to make a census of the Penguins and inscribe each of their names in a book." "It is a most urgent matter," answered Bulloch, "there can be no good government without it." Forthwith, the apostle, with the help of twelve monks, proceeded to make a census of the people.

All Penguinia heard with horror of Pyrot's crime; at the same time there was a sort of satisfaction that this embezzlement combined with treachery and even bordering on sacrilege, had been committed by a Jew. In order to understand this feeling it is necessary to be acquainted with the state of public opinion regarding the Jews both great and small.

Everything that has to do with the navy and the army is odious to them. They are afraid of you." "That is possible." "They are wretches; they are ruining the country. Don't you wish to save Penguinia? "In what way?" "By sweeping away all the rascals of the Republic, all the Republicans." "What a proposal to make to me, dear lady!"

Excited by this ardent exhortation, the sixty thousand people present rose up trembling and shouting: "To arms! To arms! Death to the Pyrotists! Hurrah for Crucho!" and all of them, monks, women, soldiers, noblemen, citizens, and loafers, who were gathered beneath the superhuman arm uplifted in the pulpit, struck up the hymn, "Let us save Penguinia!"

The Pyrot affair is secret; it ought to remain secret. If it were divulged the cruelest ills, wars, pillages, depredations, fires, massacres, and epidemics would immediately burst upon Penguinia. I should consider myself guilty of high treason if I uttered another word."

Bidault-Coquille and Maniflore grew visibly greater beneath insult, abuse, and calumny. For long months Penguinia had been divided into two camps and, though at first sight it may appear strange, hitherto the socialists had taken no part in the contest. Their groups comprised almost all the manual workers in the country, necessarily scattered, confused, broken up, and divided, but formidable.

Still the greater number felt how difficult it was growing for them to remain aloof from struggles in which all Penguinia was engaged. Their leaders called a sitting of their federation at the Rue de la Queue-du-diable-St. Mael, to take into consideration the conduct they ought to adopt in the present circumstances and in future eventualities. Comrade Phoenix was the first to speak.

A man of the people, a workman, but a man of sound principles, M. Rauchin, the secretary of the yellow syndicate, was asked to preside, supported by Count Clena and M. Michaud, a butcher. The government which Penguinia had freely given itself was called by such names as cesspool and drain in several eloquent speeches.

For my part, I gain a thousand times more, in this pleasant, faithful, and docile Penguinia, by extracting the essence from a bundle of thyme, than I could make by tiring my lungs with preaching the remission of sins in the most populous states of Europe and America.

The Reverend Father Douillard strove for the completion of his task with a truly apostolical zeal. He hoped to restore the prerogatives of St. Orberosia as the patron saint of Penguinia and to dedicate to her a monumental church on one of the hills that dominate the city.

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