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Updated: June 27, 2025
The admiral informed our captain that he was about to proceed inland through the province of Teita with this formidable column; and that he, `old Hankey Pankey, was to assemble as strong a force as he could muster from the ships under his command and with a second column thus formed he was to start from Malindi and work in a south-westerly direction, when the two bodies would meet, completely hemming in the Arabs.
Presently, in response to another signal from us, Captain Oliver came on board, when he joined in the talk going on between `old Hankey Pankey' and Mr Gresham for a bit and then returned to his own ship; the Merlin shortly afterwards slipping her moorings and making off at full speed to the southwards.
"By George, we'll be too late!" cried `old Hankey Pankey, hobbling onwards at a fine rate for a moment, and then slewing round to give some fresh order to those following up behind. "Come on, men come on at the double. Spread out your flanks, Mr Gresham! Spread out your flanks, d'ye hear? Tell Mr Shrapnell to bring up the guns.
"You mean, sir, that queer-shaped headland some twenty miles down the coast?" "Yes, we passed it when we came back from the wreck," replied `old Hankey Pankey, pointing with his hand away to windward. "You will then cut off the retreat of the dhows, while we head them off farther up the coast." "Very good, sir," said Mr Gresham, accepting this as a final dismissal.
That time was one of mirage, of delusion, of disease. I was in a condition, mentally and bodily, in which pranks could have been played upon me by any trickster. Such pranks were played. I know that now quite well. I do not pretend to be proficient in the modus operandi of the hankey- pankey man, but I know that he has a method, all the same, one susceptible, too, of facile explanation.
This place was only some sixty miles to the northward of Mombassa; and all the arrangements for our landing having been completed, and `old Hankey Pankey' settled his plan of operations with Captain Oliver of the Merlin, we did not hurry on the passage to Malindi, timing ourselves to arrive about daybreak, casting anchor in front of the town, as near in as we could get without shoaling our water, at Six Bells in the morning watch to the minute.
'Take my advice, my friend, and don't attempt to play that hankey pankey off on to me again. 'I don't know what you talk of. 'Don't lie to me, or I'll burn you into ashes. Behind me was an electrical machine, giving an eighteen inch spark. It was set in motion by a lever fitted into the table, which I could easily reach from where I sat.
`Old Hankey Pankey, who led our fighting force of bluejackets and marines, which mustered in officers and men altogether some two hundred strong, was flabbergasted as he gaily marched in front of the column on our being received by a hail of bullets and buckshot, which decimated our ranks as we suddenly debouched from a rough, tangled undergrowth of scrub and dwarf plantain trees.
Still I kept my ears open all the same; and when, the next morning, I met the captain's steward returning from the galley with a cup of early cocoa for `old Hankey Pankey, and he told me that he thought we were going to be busy soon, the `old man' having directed him to take out his sword and pistols, and give them to his marine servant to be cleaned up, I began, as `Gyp' did that time on board the Saint Vincent, `to smell a rat.
I was on the right flank, close to `old Hankey Pankey' as he brought us up in this sudden fashion, so I heard every word he said to Mr Gresham, who marched by his side; though, for that matter, I almost guessed what was coming, from the captain wheeling round abruptly and stopping the sort of half trot at which he had been going along, the poor gentleman never having quite recovered the use of his legs after the matchlock ball had ventilated them.
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