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Updated: June 17, 2025
A man must be made comfortable before he will make love to you; and though it is true that if you offered him a choice between Spickgans and kisses, he would say he would take both, yet he would invariably begin with the Spickgans, and allow the kisses to wait." At this I got up, and Irais followed my example. "Your cynicism is disgusting," I said icily.
"Study the art of pleasing by dress and manner as long as you are of an age to interest us, and above all, let all women, pretty and plain, married and single, study the art of cookery. If you are an artist in the kitchen you will always be esteemed." I sat very still. Every German woman, even the wayward Irais, has learned to cook; I seem to have been the only one who was naughty and wouldn't.
The flame of my affection for Irais burns very brightly on the day of her arrival; besides, this time I have prudently provided against her sinning with the salt-cellars by ordering them to be handed round like vegetable dishes. We had finished tea and she had gone up to her room to dress before Minora and her bicycle were got here.
"I hope you are listening, Miss Minora," said Irais in the amiably polite tone she assumes whenever she speaks to that young person. It was getting on towards midnight, and we were sitting round the fire, waiting for the New Year, and sipping Glubwein, prepared at a small table by the Man of Wrath.
"And not only that fatal weakness," he continued, "but what is there, candidly, to distinguish you from children? You are older, but not wiser, really not so wise, for with years you lose the common sense you had as children. Have you ever heard a group of women talking reasonably together?" "Yes we do!" Irais and I cried in a breath.
Or Jottings from German Journeyings, I haven't quite decided yet which." "By the author of Prowls in Pomerania, you might add," suggested Irais. "And Drivel from Dresden," said I. "And Bosh from Berlin," added Irais. Minora stared. "I don't think those two last ones would do," she said, "because it is not to be a facetious book.
Then he added, "If I were commissioned to draw up a new legal code, and had previously enjoyed the privilege, as I have been doing lately, of listening to the conversation of you three young ladies, I should make precisely the same classification." Even Minora was incensed at this. "You are telling us in the most unvarnished manner that we are idiots," said Irais. "Idiots? No, no, by no means.
"I have as little experience as you," said Irais, "because I have no children; but if you don't yearn after startling originality, nothing is easier than to write bits about them. I believe I could do a dozen in an hour." She sat down at the writing-table, took up an old letter, and scribbled for about five minutes.
"I would do a great deal for you, Miss Minora," I said, "but I can't do that." "If we went," said Irais, "Elizabeth and I would be placed with great ceremony on a sofa behind a large, polished oval table with a crochetmat in the centre it has got a crochet-mat in the centre, hasn't it?" I nodded.
It was a hoar-frost day, and the forest was an enchanted forest leading into fairyland, and though Irais and I have been there often before, and always thought it beautiful, yet yesterday we stood under the final arch of frosted trees, struck silent by the sheer loveliness of the place.
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