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You k'n go roun' yer an' sass deze w'ite people, an' maybe dey'll stan' it, but w'en you come a-slingin' yo' jaw at a man w'at wuz gray w'en de fahmin' days gin out, you better go an' git yo' hide greased." "What's the matter, old man?" asked a sympathizing policeman. "Nothin', boss, 'ceppin I ain't gwineter hav' no nigger chillun a hoopin' an' a hollerin' at me w'en I'm gwine long de streets."
"No why?" "'Cause I can't stand that, tough as I be. I lived wi' a doctor once, and says he to me, 'Simon, I want to speriment on ye, says he. 'I'm tough 'nough, says I. 'I want to waccinate you 'gainst cholera, hoopin' cough, and small-pox, says he.
It makes me so kinder wamblecropt when I think on it, that I'm afeared to venture on matrimony at all. I have seen some Blue Noses most properly bit, you may depend. You've seen a boy a slidin on a most beautiful smooth bit of ice, ha'nt you, larfin, and hoopin, and hallooin like one possessed, when presently sowse he goes in over head and ears?
Me friends can't lave me house an' naither boite nor sup; turn yer backs an' ye plaze, till Oi get on me skirt. An' whin Oi wuz up an' dacint an' tould them they could luk, Oi sez, 'It's the foinest Lung balm in the land ye shall taste, an' the littlest feller he starts a-coughin', oh, a turrible cough it fair scairt me, like a hoopin' croup an' the other seemed just mad, and the littlest wan made fun av him.
Meantime Leander's family wuz increasin' and growin'. Little Sarey had the hoopin' cough dreadful one winter, but the cyclopeedy didn't help out at all, 'cause all it said wuz: "Hoopin' Cough See Whoopin' Cough" and uv course there warn't no Whoopin' Cough to see, bein' as how the W hadn't come yet!
'What's that? give 'em to me? says I. 'No, says he, 'but to prevent you from a hevin' 'em. 'That's yer sorts, says I. Well, gentlemen, he waccinated me, and I said to un, 'Never no more, yer honour." "Why?" asked I. "'Cause I'd rather hev cholera, hoopin' cough, and small-pox all together than be waccinated. Jes like women, you never know where they'll break out."
Our combined weight had raised the bow a trifle, yet not enough to prevent the sea from coming in; and, as the skipper, who was laboring with the steering-oar, said, the small whaler was "hoopin' along, takin' everything as it came, and askin' no questions."
It makes me so kinder wamblecropt when I think on it, that I'm afeared to venture on matrimony at all. I have seen some Bluenoses most properly bit, you may depend. You've seen a boy a-slidin' on a most beautiful smooth bit of ice, hain't you, larfin', and hoopin', and hallooin' like one possessed, when presently sowse he goes in over head and ears?
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