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Updated: June 7, 2025
The others, by this, had disappeared in various directions, puzzled and exceedingly uncertain what to do. Indeed, to congratulate Billy in the Colonel's presence would have been tactless; and, on the other hand, to condole with the Colonel without seeming to affront the wealthy Mr. Woods was almost impossible. So they temporised and fled all save Mrs. Haggage. She, alone, remained to view Mr.
Haggage, the mainspring, if I may say so, of any number of educational and philanthropic alarm clocks which will some day rouse the sleeping public from its lethargy.
When Margaret refused him for the sixth time, I think I won't swear that she didn't kiss him under the dark stairway. And if she did, he was a nice boy, and he deserved it. And as for Sarah Ellen Haggage, that unreverend old parasite brought her a blank cheque signed with her name, and mentioned quite a goodly sum as the extent to which Margaret might go for necessary expenses.
Stanley Haggage has gone to Alabama to marry Leonora Bright, who moved from here a year ago. They are both as poor as church mice, & I think marriage in such a case an unwise step for anyone. It brings cares & anxieties enough any way, without starting out with poverty to increase and render deeper every trouble...."
Well, I suppose I'm glad to hear it, but he'd much better have stayed in Paris where, I remember distinctly hearing, he led the most dissipated and immoral life, my dear instead of coming over here and upsetting everything." And again Mrs. Haggage rubbed her nose indignantly. "He didn't!" said Margaret. "And I can't take your money, beautiful!
Here the dead spoke, omniscient; and told you that Stanley Haggage had gone to Alabama, and that marriage brought new cares and anxieties. "I cannot laugh," said Rudolph Musgrave, aloud. "I know the jest deserves it. But I cannot laugh, because my upper lip seems to be made of leather and I can't move it. And, besides, I loved Agatha to a degree which only You and I have ever known of.
Then, his wrath gathering emphasis as he went on: "The longer I live the plainer I see Shakespeare was right what fools these mortals be, and all that. There's that Haggage woman speech-making through the country like a hiatused politician. It may be philanthropic, but it ain't ladylike no, begad! What has she got to do with Juvenile Courts and child-labour in the South, I'd like to know?
Van Orden. That was tolerably well known. In fact, Margaret prompted by Mrs. Haggage, it must be confessed had invited him to Selwoode for the especial purpose of entertaining Miss Adèle Haggage; for he was a good match, and Mrs. Haggage, as an experienced chaperon, knew the value of country houses.
She is, also, the "Madame President" both of the Society for the Betterment of Civic Government and Sewerage, and of the Ladies' League for the Edification of the Impecunious. "And I am glad to see," Mrs. Haggage presently went on, "that the literature of the day is so largely beginning to chronicle the sayings and doings of the labouring classes.
But for the rest, the hopeless glances that Hugh Van Orden cast toward her caused Adèle to flush, and Mrs. Haggage to become despondent and speechless and astonishingly rigid; and Petheridge Jukesbury's vaguely apologetic attitude toward the world struck Miss Hugonin as infinitely diverting.
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