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Updated: May 11, 2025
"Littyoshantyhouse?" "Litty ole shanty house! "We', magistrate to lock at daw. Come to daw littyoneddy " "Little old what?" "Litty ole neddy! "Dissa oneddy she was vay ole, vay feeble. He tole her: 'Please, oneddy, you givva me kunderness let me go slip in yo' house to-night! I 'mos' died. No subber, no wadder 'mos' exhaus'! Oneddy tole him: 'Walks in; walks in!
We', one tem was merchan', nem Jan Han Sun, getta lich in Kan Suh; say hisse'f: 'I getta lich; now mus' go home Tsan Ran Foo, shee my de-ah fadder-mudder-in-'aw an' my de-ah wife. So med determine to go home nex' day. "Kan Suh to Tsan Ran Foo about dousands miles distant, and dissa parts China no lailload, no canal. So dissa trivveler declude to ride in horse-carry-chair."
Fonnow him long tem severow weeks. But cannot stea' from him. Bye-bye he reach his home Tsan Ran Foo, an' go to respec' his mudder-fadder-in-'aw; nen go fine his wife. Dissa tem was minnernight vay dark. Fink was good tem to stea' from him, an' getta his go' an' sivver. So kep' fonnow 'long load. When he getta his house he lock long tem at his daw, but was no answer.
"Yeh; uh-uh-coshious!" sneezes Fuey. "Nen magistrate begin craw' 'long on his stoamch inchy inchy cross flaw out daw. Nen run fas' he can towards Tsan Ran Foo. "One mont' go by, an' magistrate sit up in his high chair in his court. Befron him dissa woman an' her beau, ole cover wif mark dissa bamboo po', an' dissa fadder-mudder-in-'aw, an' dissa highrob.
Magistrate say, vay slow ole semma idol talk: 'Dissa woman her lover are convert to behead by hev dey heads cut off till dey dead! What you fink, woman? Woman say: 'Yo' Excennency, I vay gnad to be behead wif my de-ah lover. I vay satisfaction we behead begedder. Our spi'its begedder habby fo'ever. Nen she turn kiss her beau; but he too scare to spe'k.
Maybe can stea' from him. So fonnow 'long Missa Jan by day, by night, severow day doan' lose sight ole dissa tem. Bye-bye Missa Jan was trivvle ole night, and leach hotel early morning. He tole hotel-kipper: 'You giva me loom. I slip ole day. Nen tek his backage go' an' sivver, an' tek to bed wif him.
As she concluded a faint smile passed over his face. The Baron watched him attentively. "I know no brigand on dissa road," said he. Lady Dalrymple looked triumphantly at the others. "I have travail dissa road many time. No dangaire alla safe." Another smile from Lady Dalrymple. The Count Girasole looked at Hawbury and then at the Baron, with a slight dash of mockery in his face.
Chan Tow lie down in load, an' begin kick an' scleam ole semma sick white woman. Missiolary man was vay sympafy, an' tole him, 'Whatta is? Chan Tow say: 'Much vay sick! Much vay sick! You no he'p me home I getta died! You tekka me home I mek good Chrisinjin boy! Missiolary man vay good man; say hisse'f: 'Gaw sen' me dissa man mek convict to Chrisinjanity.
When he getta where dissa mer-out chan' slip, an' snow, snow, ole semma hev good dleam, dissa beau mek like was to chenge his mine 'gain; but dissa woman whisper: "Quick! Quick!" an' nen ole sudden dissa beau stlike. Nen Jan Han Sun was died instamentty! "'Dissa woman begin rip up flaw. Her beau he'p her ole he can, an' work vay hard, fas' fred somebody come.
An' bofe was tek out to behead dissa woman ole tem to mek to kiss her beau. "Magistrate say to highrob: 'You know me? Who eata subbah wif you sucha-sucha night? Chan Tow say, 'O yo' Excennency, I doan' know who was! Magistrate say: 'I was dissa man. I glate t'anks faw you. Awso dissa fadder-mudder-in-'aw dissa dead man. Gaw sen' me to yo' house to mek you instlument to convert dissa mudderers.
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