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Updated: May 10, 2025
My own State of Injianny is celebrated for unhitchin marrid peple with neatness and dispatch, but you can't get a divorce from the Goddess up there. Not by no means. The old gal has behaved herself too well to cast her off now. I'm sorry the picters don't give her no shoes or stockins, but the band of stars upon her hed must continner to shine undimd, forever.
"If you'd unpinned that mouth of yourn fur enough to tell that tramp that I'm engaged to Pharline Pike," growled Ward, returning to the tree, "I'd 'a' broke in your head and you might as well know it first as last." "Ain't you engaged to her?" "You know I be." "Well, I've allus told the truth all my life and I reckon I shall continner to tell it.
"That Eagle, Sir, will continner to scream all over this Brite and tremenjus land!" "Wall, let him SCREAM. If your Eagle can amuse hisself by screamin, let him went!" The men anoyed me, for I was Bizzy makin change. "We are cum, Sir, upon a matter of dooty " "You're right, Capting. It's every man's dooty to visit my show," said I. "We air cum "
I got this new suit to go in, but those waiters sorter run me into a private box, and I didn't get much chance to continner our talk about them checks. But that young feller, Dashboard, was mighty perlite. He brought lots of fellers and young women round to the box to see me, and he made up a party that night to take me round Wall Street and in them Stock Boards.
All the commentaters, Shaksperian scholars, etsetry, are agreed on this, which is about the only thing they are agreed on in regard to him, except that his mantle hasn't fallen onto any poet or dramatist hard enough to hurt said poet or dramatist MUCH. And there is no doubt if these commentaters and persons continner investigating Shakspeare's career, we shall not, in doo time, know anything about it at all.
At sum futur time I shall continner my remarks on the drammer in which I shall show the varst supeeriority of wax figgers and snakes over theater plays, in a interlectooal pint of view. Very Respectively yures, A WARD, T.K. Some years ago I pitched my tent and onfurled my banner to the breeze, in Berlin Hites, Ohio.
"Elder Stimmins wrote back pussonally, exhortin' me to be of good heart, sayin' further that the days of miracles weren't past; at any moment the unrepentant might get it in the conscience and signed himself my friend and brother in the church, with a P. S. readin': Dear Zeke: My wife Susan Ann will continner to have high-stukes till I produce a grand pianny.
Betsy Jane and the projeny air well. Yours respectively, A. Ward. I had a narrer scape from the sonny South. "The swings and arrers of outrajus fortin," alluded to by Hamlick, warn't nothin in comparison to my trubles. But if I'm confisticated agin I'm fraid I shall continner on in my present benited state for sum time.
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