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Updated: May 8, 2025
Thei worshippe also and Sacrifice to the Sonne, Moone, and elementes fowre. To Cham also their Lorde and Kyng, thei do very deuoute honour and Sacrifice: supposyng him to be the sonne of God, and to haue no piere in the whole worlde: neither can they abide to heare any other manne name hym.
I stated my plan, and begged that he would favour me with a paper once a month, offering at the same time any remuneration that he might name. Here we see dimly prefigured a modern editor prematurely soliciting the support of Great Names. But the Cham of literature, himself the son of a bookseller, would have none of it.
Natheles the sothe is this, that Tartarynes and thei that duellen in the grete Asye, thei camen of Cham. But the emperour of Cathay clepeth him not Cham, but Can: and I schalle telle zou how.
Next morning we let out, and had gone but a small distance from the city, when there came a multitude of people of the country to the gates of the city, demanding satisfaction of the Ruffian governor for insulting their priests, and burning their great Cham Cai-Thaungu, who dwelt in the sun, and no mortal would violate this image but some Christian miscreants; and being already no less than thirty thousand strong, they announced war against him and all his Christians.
It is not possible to explain this fully by writing, because the difference is not so much in the orthography of words as in the tone and diction their abridging the speech, "cham" for "I am," "chil" for "I will," "don" for "put on," and "doff" for "put off," and the like. And I cannot omit a short story here on this subject.
Wherefore he is clept the grete Chane. Of the Style of his Lettres, and of the Superscripcioun abowten his grete Sealle, and his pryvee Sealle. Zee schulle undirstonde, that alle the world was destroyed by Noes flood, saf only Noe and his wif and his children. Noe had 3 sones, Sem, Cham and Japhethe.
The statuettes which enliven the bronze shops; the gaunt figures which are in the chocolate establishments; the prints in the windows under the Rivoli colonnade; the monsters with fangs, red hair, and Glengarry caps, of Cham, and Doré, and Bertall, and the female sticks with ringlets who pass in the terra-cotta show of the Palais Royal for our countrywomen, have long ago ceased to warm my indignation.
He rises, eats, and goes to bed by the Julian account, long after all others that go by the new style, and keeps the same hours with owls and the antipodes. He is a great observer of the Tartars' customs, and never eats till the great Cham, having dined, makes proclamation that all the world may go to dinner.
The faults of your parents should never diminish in your heart the respect and honor that you owe them; and in certain painful and delicate circumstances, you should imitate the example of the two sons of Noah in order to escape the malediction that fell upon Cham for his impudent strictures of his father's faults.
But for such a young woman, I won't believe the scene is closed. What are there no marquises, no dukes, for such perfection? But 't is brutal to talk so when she is crying her fine eyes out. I wipe my naughty pen and bid you adieu. Two days later. I attended Mrs Minerva Montagu's reception, and there encountered the Great Cham of Literature, Dr Johnson, rolling into the saloon like Behemoth.
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