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Updated: June 11, 2025
Some time ago, there were discovered at Malta various rude statues of women very ample in the lower part of the "back," supposed to be of Libyan origin, so that stout ladies have been the choicest of the fashion for ages past; the fattening of women, like so many capons and turkeys, begins when they are betrothed.
The fleet, which consisted of ninety vessels, so well provisioned that, among other matters, fifteen thousand capons were put on board, according to the Antwerp chronicler, set sail upon the 26th August , from Flushing. The voyage proved tempestuous, so that much of the rich tapestry and other merchandise which had been accumulated by Charles and Philip was lost.
In Paris they were nasty enough; but at Versailles, where the king and the princes lived, even people that were well to do did not scorn to buy dishes that had been carried untouched from a royal table. Near the poultry market in Paris, a great pot was always hanging on the fire, with capons boiling in it; you bought a boiled fowl with its broth, a savory mess.
'This woman shall be Queen if Cromwell fall, the magister said, 'and I shall rise with her. 'But is no woman from Cleves' Queen there now? she asked. 'Cicely, he answered highly, 'you know much of capons and beeves, but there are queens that are none and do not queen it, and queans that are no queens and queen it. 'And so 'twill be whilst men are men, she retorted.
"No," said the admiral, "but I mean them to be pet capons by and by, when they come to table. I have finished a dozen and a half this morning, besides that damned old tom-cat."
We were divided about the sauce with which the hare should be dressed, and, in the heat of argument, lost sight of this little fact, that a hare, to be dressed at all, must first be caught. The first reverses overtook us thus occupied. They did not sober us; quite the contrary; we fell to doing what Manzoni's capons did.
But even in intemperance there are degrees of refinement, and the impartial critic of life and manners will no doubt say that if one must get drunk, let it be on Chateau Margaux rather than on commissary whiskey. Pickled partridges, plump capons, syrups of fruits, delicate pastry, and rare fish went to make up the diet of Charles in his last days at Yuste.
The Spaniards took from Guadaloupe seven parrots larger than pheasants, and totally unlike any other parrots in colour. Their entire breast and back are covered with purple plumes, and from their shoulders fall long feathers of the same colour, as I have often remarked in Europe is the case with the capons peasants raise. The other feathers are of various colours, green, bluish, purple, or yellow.
We read an amusing account of two of her maidens, who took the opportunity of their mistress's absence at church to kill two fine capons, which they resolved to dress privately for their own eating. The birds were already on the spit, when their mistress was heard entering the house. Fearful of discovery, they took the half-roasted capons from the fire, and hid them under a bed.
The pirates found large coops filled with pheasants and Calcutta hens, which had been fed on nuts to give their flesh a better flavor. The rascals pulled out every one of the birds. "Where's the barber?" they shouted, "Here's something to bleed!" and they dragged Scudamore forward to use his valuable surgical instruments to cut off the heads of the capons.
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