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Updated: May 2, 2025


"Then after reading the morning paper I arise, take a bawth, and Estelle does my hair. That is, she does part of it. I can't bear any one's teeth but my own on my Dutch braid. You know some people are sensitive that a-way. After the hair dressing number I inhale about $4 worth of breakfast and then lounge about my little nest. I call it my little nest because it is finished in birdseye maple.

Shoutin' out at th' top o' yer lungs: Damn the German army! Oh, wot a lovely plyce is Hengland! Our ten days en repos at Petite-Saens came to an end all too soon. On the last day we lined up for our official "bawth." Petite-Saens was a coal-mining town.

Sleepily the bellboy lifted the battered kitbag and led the way to the elevator. "Bawth!" said the night clerk, as the elevator door slithered to the latch. "Bawth! The old dear!" He returned to his chair, hoping that he would not be disturbed again until he was relieved. What do we care, so long as we don't know? What's the stranger to us but a fleeting shadow?

"One morning Sir Harry and I were standing in front of our residence, in our part of the island, talking over matters. Sir Harry was taking a bawth in a wash-hand basin " "What's that?" asked Uncle Jim. "I reckon he means a wash-pan," explained Billy Hudgens. "At least, Sir Harry was making a deuce of a row with the soap, and he'd the wash-hand basin quite full of bubbles.

"Now, then, matey!" said an exasperating voice, "bathin' in our private pool without a permit?" And another, "'Ere, son! This ain't a swimmin' bawth! That's our tea water yer a-standin' in!" The Tommy in the pool must have been nearly frozen, but for a moment he made no attempt to get out. "One o' you fetch me a bit o' soap, will you?" he said coaxingly.

Here I smoked half a pipe, and would have rested, but that I felt too dirty. Presently Boots came in, elderly and sad but furtively bird-like, both in the way he held his head on one side and in the jerky quickness of his movements: 'You the genelmun as orduder bawth? he asked anxiously. I admitted it, and he gave a long sigh of relief. 'Oo! All right, he said, almost gladly.

While I pondered, one hand on the counter, the still smiling barmaid opened conversation brightly: 'Er you the genelmun what's orduder bawth? she asked engagingly. I began to feel that there must be some kind of a special London joke about this formula. Perhaps it is a phrase in the current comic opera, I thought. A pity that ignorance should prevent my capping it!

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